


try to tell you stop (but your lipstick got me so out of breath)

by WickedHeadache



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, F/F, Failed Hate Sex, Falling In Love, Infidelity, Secret Relationship, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, so this became angsty you guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2020-12-21 11:21:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 35,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedHeadache/pseuds/WickedHeadache
Summary: They have been sleeping together for the last four months. They don't talk about it, they don't waste time with feelings and nice gestures that aren't more than a nuisance. They don't like each other, they have spouses of their own. Yet somehow, Tina always herself in this situation: remembering her husband's betrayal as one of her hands makes its way between Leslie's legs. It feels like payback.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not the best at writing smut, so beware. But I swear I did my best.
> 
> I hope you love the "they are two idiots that don't know how to handle feelings" trope because this is all this is.
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think.

They have been sleeping together for the last four months. They don't talk about it, they don't waste time with feelings and nice gestures that aren't more than a nuisance. They don't like each other, they have spouses of their own. Yet somehow, Tina always herself in this situation: remembering her husband's betrayal as one of her hands makes its way between Leslie's legs. It feels like payback.

  
  
It's not all about that, though. Tina is well aware. It's been months since she has given up in getting Robert's attention and fixing their family. (Now she prefers to leave that to him, to let him know what it feels like trying to put back together a marriage on his own while the other part doesn't give a damn.) So no, it's not about revenge and it's not about broken families.

  
  
It's about Leslie and how she thinks Pride is all her while Tina is just an associate. It's about her comments about her husband and how Leslie says it's pathetic that she's still tied to the man who cheated on her, especially after his mistress' husband let the world know about the affair — though everyone that night focused even more in Victor fainting right after publicly humiliating his wife.

  
  
Leslie always manages to get under her skin. After all, they've known each other for years. Just like Leslie knows exactly what buttons to push, Tina has discovered her fair share of Leslie's secrets and peculiarities.

  
  
Like how she fell in love with a forty five years old married man when she was nineteen and they had been lovers until she was thirty and Jonah had deemed her too old (yes, Jonah, the man who used to be the leader of Pride and who taught Leslie all she knew about Gibborim). Like how she takes her earrings off when she's getting ready for a fight. Like how she has been aware of her daughter's homosexuality for a while now and that Karolina is afraid of what Leslie will think were she to come out.

  
  
Tina knows she likes to be in charge of things — they're the same in that aspect. And Tina knows that's why they get along and why they don't.

  
  
It all started right after she found out about her husband's betrayal. Tina had been heartbroken, trying to avoid Robert in the Gala by hiding in her office, when Leslie found her. She looked breathtaking, as always, her white dress tight just in the right places. She took her time to give her a once-over, and when her eyes found Leslie's, she was raising a brow at her, clearly having noticed her ogling.

  
  
“What are you doing here on your own?”

  
  
“It's calm,” Tina said.

  
  
“A party certainly isn't supposed to be.”

  
  
Her eyes bored into the blonde. “Do you see a party somewhere here?”

  
  
“Yes, out there, where you should be,” Leslie gave her a pointed look.

  
  
“What do you want, Leslie?” She sighed.

  
  
“I...wanted to see if you are okay.” Tina gave her a ‘no nonsense’ look, and Leslie rolled her eyes, “You can't just hide in your office because you're too much of a coward to face your husband.”

  
  
That was the wrong thing to say, especially because Tina was in a mood. But Leslie knew that, she always knows, and she could tell by the challenging glint in her eyes that Leslie was aware of what she was doing. Tina glared at her, dangerously walking towards her.

  
  
“That's rich coming from the woman that hides behind the walls of a church because she can't stand the sight of her own husband,” Tina retorted venomously.

  
  
Leslie's response was to set her jaw, inhaling sharply as she stared at her eyes with some kind of interest, never stepping back but forward. Was she enjoying this? Tina wondered. Leslie didn't reply, though. Instead, they found themselves in a staring contest, unconsciously getting closer to one another as the tension in the room grew and the reason all of this started was left forgotten.

  
  
Tina could feel Leslie's breathing on her lips, and her gaze fell (instinctively) on the blonde's. That was the last thing that happened before Leslie slammed their mouths together in a bruising kiss. It was all teeth and tongue and the taste of champagne on Leslie's mouth. Tina felt her back hitting her desk, and she grabbed Leslie's hair to pull her head away, locking eyes for a second breathlessly before she turned them around.

  
  
Her hands grasped roughly the woman's ass, their lips locking again as she pushed her up on the desk. Legs wrapped around her hips and nails digged into her skull as her hand positioned between Leslie's legs, not even bothering in riding up her skirt. She tried impossibly to deepen the kiss as her fingers toyed with the waistband of Leslie's underwear. She could feel lace against her skin and she wondered, momentarily, if she had plans of doing exactly what she was doing with Tina with her husband, but she pushed those thoughts away. She almost ripped the fabric while taking the panties off and letting them fall from her legs to her ankles, and she started to thrust her fingers inside of her. She was soaked, Tina noticed. A moan escaped Leslie's lips, and Tina smirked. They were lucky nobody was around her office, on one of the last floors.

  
  
She bit her neck in hope of leaving a mark of the teeth but knowing she wasn't hard enough to. Her thumb rubbed quickly her clit. The blonde pushed her hips against her hand as she came with a silent moan stuck in her lips in the form of ‘oh’, legs still shaking when Tina pulled away from her and walked back to the Pride Gala.

  
  
After that, it was Leslie the one missing. She came back thirty minutes later, her hair impeccable and her smudged makeup perfect again. She didn't even lend a glance at her way, but Tina could see the dangerous smirk that graced her lips for the rest of the night as she moved around attached to Frank's arm.

  
  
.

  
  
.

  
  
.

  
  
Leslie turns in her bed until her body collides with another. She grimaces at the mere thought of Frank sleeping at her side, wishing that instead of sweat and coconut shampoo she could smell the accent of Hypnotic Poison and brand new arousal. She shakes that ridiculous idea away and slips out of the bed before Frank could even dream of giving her a morning kiss.

  
  
She finds Karolina having breakfast already, and she kisses her daughter's cheek as she smiles at her. Sometimes she wonders if Karolina doesn't tell her she's a lesbian because of their religion. But Leslie scratches that; there is nothing in the Book of Gibborim about homosexuality. Maybe she's just nervous. She sticks with that conclusion before she goes to the church.

  
  
Her father's work is what she has dedicated her entire adult life to, she has always believed in the Book of Gibborim, since she was a little girl. Yet the man who taught her how to believe is dead — both of them. And while her father was a good role model for it, without Jonah she would've never been where she is now. But Jonah is gone, dying just a few months after he proclaimed her old and useless for him, and Leslie is tired.

  
  
The church is just ludicrous in her eyes now, nonsensical at its best. She thinks that everything she's ever believed in is a fraud. And sometimes (very often lately) she feels like throwing all the books and religion away, closing the church and sending Frank to hell.

  
  
Leslie's feeling so angry all the time, so over everything that it gets overwhelming. She doesn't want those feelings to overtake her and control her actions, but she's been on edge lately, about to explode. Leslie rolls her eyes at the recurrent thought of telling someone. Who is it going to be? A therapist? She scoffs to herself. A friend? She scoffs even louder. Does she even have one of those?

  
  
Well... There is Tina, but she isn't sure friend is the adequate definition for what they are. Besides, Tina is not the kind of person you go to talk to — she doesn't do feelings, for starters. And, let's be honest, Leslie can't have a regular conversation with her without her panties getting wet at some look that woman gives her.

  
  
Tina does help, though. There is no better way to release anger that some good hate sex.

  
  
‘I'm going to the hotel tonight,’ she sends the message to Tina, knowing there is no way she'll tell her no.

  
  
That's what they do. One of them goes to their hotel room and somehow the other never fails, she's always there. Leslie never understood very well why when they don't care about each other enough to care about their needs, and she knows Tina doesn't get it either. It's just the way it is.

  
  
Tina doesn't answer, like she always do with the only goal of bothering her, but she got the message and Leslie knows she'll be there.

  
  
Before this mess with Tina started she hadn't had a mind-blowing orgasm in years (since Jonah died, ten years ago. Three years, if you count that time when Frank was _ almost there _ ) — hell, she hadn't even been with a woman before Tina. But then Tina surprised her in that office with her magnificent fingers, and Leslie couldn't leave it there. She craved for more.

  
  
Two weeks later, it happened again. And the week next to it too. Twice. Then they both decided that it was the best if it didn't happen again. They didn't talk about it, though, they weren't stupid. They just avoided each other to the point the Yorkers made a comment about it that left Leslie red-faced.

  
  
“Wow, someone give me a butter knife to try and cut this tension,” Dale muttered to his wife.

  
  
Leslie eyed Tina instantly and found her throwing daggers with her eyes at him. They didn't seem to take a hint.

  
  
“Right? I thought it was just me because Tina always makes everyone uncomfortable and...”

  
  
“God, can you two shut up?!” Tina snapped and rubbed her temples as she closed her eyes to ignore everyone's glance on her. She could feel the gaze of one person in particular wandering at her way for longer than anyone else's.

  
  
She fluttered her eyes open at Leslie, making eye contact finally after an entire week. Once the Pride meeting was over, they met in a hotel room losing themselves in each other's bodies.

  
  
Leslie panted under Tina, and Tina couldn't help but chuckle. “So needy,” she said, then yelped when greedy fingers were pressed against her wetness.

  
  
“Look who's talking,” Leslie said back, but the mocking tone was lost in her breathing, and she moaned before her sounds were muffled by her lover's lips.

  
  
.

  
  
.

  
  
.

  
  
Tina stares at her phone for a full minute before she's interrupted by her assistant, informing her that she is going to take her lunch break. She nods distractedly, too focused on the words in the text message and why her heart fastens with excitement at the thought of seeing Leslie.

  
  
She's being silly, she decides. Since Robert came back to her, smelling of rejection, he's been trying to fix their marriage. (At first Tina had smirked with victory. Janet had decided to stay with her husband instead of doing what Robert planned and be together. Then the smile fell into a scowl, and she turned her back on him at the realization. She was the second choice). Now the mere sight of him — begging for forgiveness — makes her nauseous.

  
  
That's why she's excited to meet with Leslie, because she's getting revenge, nothing else. It has nothing to do with the fact that this affair is the only thing at this point that makes her feel alive.

  
  
So she leaves the device at a side on her desk, not answering like she always does, and she disposes herself to work. But soon Tina finds she can't stop eyeing her phone, her fingers aching to take and read Leslie's messages over and over again.

  
  
She won't, though. She won't.

  
  
She closes her eyes with a sigh and writes: ‘be there at 11,’ sending it and regretting just after she pressed the button.

  
  
Tina never thought she'd say this — she's a damn genius, she could dominate the world if she wished to, she's one of the greatest minds to ever exist — but, there is a first time for everything.

  
  
“I'm an idiot.”

This will ruin their dynamic. She answered one of Leslie's special texts. Who knows what's going to happen next. Calling each other 'baby’ and 'sweetie’? Sleeping in the same bed? Soft, sweet love-making? Tina grimaces. God forbid.

  
  
Then her phone buzzes. Leslie sent her a smiley face. Tina laughs, forgetting about her panic.


	2. Chapter 2

Tina opens the door and, before she realizes what's happening, she's being slammed against the wall, a flash of blonde hair and pink lips that are now linked with her own. Leslie is going to kill her if every time she invites her here welcomes her like this. But Tina forgets it all about pushing back and punishing Leslie when teeth bite her lower lip until she starts feeling the metallic taste in her mouth. She groans and almost rips Leslie's dress off while the blonde unzips Tina's.

“Wait,” Tina pants when she feels her lover's hands trying to reach her heels. “Leave them on,” she says more firmly.

When Leslie grins, she can't help but give her ass a squeeze. Leslie is sucking on her throat, then her collarbone, and Tina turns their positions, making her grunt and bite her neck in surprise. She gasps, but that doesn't stop her from getting on her knees and putting Leslie's underwear down. Then it's Leslie who moans, and her hands grip on dark hair, trying to pull her closer as she bulges her hips against her mouth.

“God, Tina,” she breathes out just before yanks her up and drags her to the bed.

.

.

.

She wakes up and doesn't recognize where she is. It's not her bed, and that certainly isn't Frank's smell. It's… Hypnotic Poison. She looks at her side wide-eyed. This is insane, she and Tina just slept in the same bed. She needs to get away from here before Tina is awake and pushing her off the bed.

Leslie wants nothing more than to stay here, where is warm and calm, and smells like someone had sex for five hours straight, which, Leslie thinks, it's not that far from the true. But she also remembers Frank and Robert, their husbands, waking up without them there and she gets dressed in a rush, with a feeling in her chest she can't quite figure out yet.

“Mom?” Karolina says when she sees her sneaking into the house with her heels on one hand. “What are you doing? And why are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?”

“I fell asleep at the church,” she lies easily.

Her daughter narrows her eyes at her, but nods. “You work too hard.”

Leslie just smiles tightly and walks into her bedroom to change clothes before going to the church. She stops on her tracks when she sees Frank is up and looking at her with an angry expression. She sighs.

“Where were you last night?” He demands to know.

“I fell asleep on the church.”

“Right,” he says dryly. “You are sleeping there too often lately.”

“I don't know what you're insinuating, Frank.” She leaves her heels on the floor as she talks to him with a bored face. She approaches her closet.

“Don't you?” Frank challenges her. “Who is he?”

“Excuse me?” She turns around with a brow raised a bit uninterestedly.

“Who is the man you are sleeping with?”

She shakes her head with a chuckle and looks around her closet before catching a white blouse and white trousers. “There’s no other man. That’s your fear? You think our marriage is threatened by lust and temptation of the flesh?”

“If that's not it, then why are you acting so distant?”

Then it's when she forces a smile and takes his hand. She is being distant, but he must not know that she knows. “I'm just busy with the church, that's all. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Really?” He says, relieved.

She kisses him deeply. Because that's what she does. She lies and she lies and she lies. And, when she thinks about it, she doesn't regret a thing. She has cheated before, and she hadn't regretted it then. Leslie isn't about to regret it now when, unlike the first time, this affair is returning her her light.

.

.

.

“Where were you last night?”

Tina faces Robert, a stoic expression on her face. She has expected this, for him to be suspicious. After all, he has quite the experience in the affairs department. It doesn't satisfies her, as it should, instead it pains her that they have ended like this, distrustful of one another and desperate to fix the unfixable.

“I stayed late in the office,” she doesn't even blink as she answers him. “It was a busy day.”

“And you just came back now? In the morning?”

“I fell asleep on the couch, Robert,” she sighs tiredly. “I honestly don't know what you're trying to imply here.”

He hangs his head low in resignation and a bit of embarrassment. “Nothing. Nico already left for school.”

She nods and wonders, not for the first time, if she should try harder and fix their family. After everything they've been through together, it's almost like she owes him that at least. But then Tina remembers that night, the night of the Gala. It was supposed to be a night of success for her and Pride, but it ended instead breaking the little bubble of lies she had been living in.

Since Amy's death, things have been hard. Tina had wanted nothing more than to cry her eyes out until they would give her her baby girl back. She had thought at least she still had her husband, and Nico, they would go through it together. And boy, she had been wrong.

Tina pushed Nico away every day and, while Robert tried to change that, he was pulling away from Tina too. And then it's when it had come out, what Tina had always suspected but had been too afraid to accept — all that resentment Robert had been growing since Tina started to become more and more successful and Robert kept being underestimated, a shadow of his wife’s accomplishments.

He didn't even pretend he wanted to make things better. Instead he had had an affair and not even the decency to feel sorry or guilty once it was public. He did quite the opposite, in fact. He took the opportunity the world had given him and ended the entirety of their relationship to pursue another one with his mistress.

Tina is ashamed to say that she would have taken him back anyway, no matter everything he had done. And she would had, if it weren't for the fact that Robert doesn't truly want her, he just prefers her to being alone. Partly. It also helped that Tina's attention was dragged to Leslie.

Though it's just sex, it keeps Tina occupied and away from questioning her self worth some times.

This morning, when she woke up, it was thanks to the movement beside her in the bed. Leslie was there, running away from her the minute she realized where she was and with whom. It leaves Tina a bitter taste on her mouth. She ignores it, deciding to focus on the happier, more pleasurable moments of last night.

She has been needing that for a while, more than she cared to admit. Not just the activities per se, but the…  _ other things _ . Things that must have no name, things that must remain living in the shadows.

“Remember, we have a Pride meeting tonight,” she tells Robert before leaving.

“That’s tonight?”

“You forgot?” She gives him a look. He averts her gaze.

“Nico told me that she may get together with the rest of the kids. Like old times.”

That brings a tiny smile to her face. “That’s nice.”

.

.

.

Nico used to think she knew her parents perfectly and what they are capable of. Her dad was the good guy, the understanding. Her mom, the ruthless one. At one point, she even thought her mom could have been responsible for Amy’s suicide — though it had been just ridiculous and she knew that.

That’s why when Chase told her their parents were having an affair the first thing that came to her mind was: it finally happened, her mom betrayed her dad. Nico wasn’t surprised, she was even a little amused at the thought of Tina Minoru and Victor Stein. A bit more taken aback when Chase corrected her (“no, my mom and-”) but still didn’t sound crazy Tina Minoru and Janet Stein. It was completely possible, though she would have never imagined her mom interested in the least for someone like Janet.

But then, it turned out it was her dad the cheater, and that image she had of her parents shattered. Her mom wasn’t unbreakable anymore (she could tell she had been crying when she started walking around the Gala like a ghost) and her dad broke her mom’s heart. And, what’s worse, he tried to leave her after it.

After that night, Nico can say she has grown up a little bit. There is no good guy and bad guy, no black and white. Just a disgusting, bad looking gray.

She looks up from her friends to stare at the parents for a moment. Her dad is talking to Frank, and Tina and Leslie just stay at their husbands’ sides not really doing anything besides listening to them. But Nico is smarter than that: she knows they are not paying attention to the men either. She notices that, just for half a second, her mom turns to glance at Leslie and looks up and down. Nico frowns, and eyes Karolina. She thinks she may look at her the same way Tina looks at Leslie.

Like mother, like daughter, she thinks dryly. They have the same expression while watching their friends.

But, how could she not look at Karolina? She is the prettiest girl Nico has ever seen. She brings light into the room every time Nico feels a little dark. And there is something about that smile Karolina gives her that causes warm, fuzzy feelings in her stomach. Of course Nico wants to spend hours just ogling Karolina.

“Nico!” Alex clicks his fingers in front of her face. “It's your turn. I've been calling you for, like, a minute.”

She rolls her eyes, glancing at Karolina one last time before she tries to catch on where they are in the game.

“You okay?” Karolina mutters next to her.

“Yeah, I'm just distracted.”

She looks up at the blonde again once her turn is over, finding her smiling at her. Nico can swear her face is glowing.

“What?” The distraction is over and it's replaced with a frown. “Do I have something in my face?”

Nico shakes her head, and reaches to tuck some blonde hair behind her ear. “No, you're safe.”

“Girls.”

Nico drops her hand and turns her head to see Leslie and her mom standing side by side in front of them. Leslie is narrowing her eyes at Nico and then at Karolina, apparently very amused by something Nico can't seem to grasp. She eyes Karolina, who is ducking her head with a blush. She frowns.

“It's time to leave.”

Nico and Karolina give their respective goodbyes at the rest of the guys and go to join their parents.

“I'm sure everything will sort out,” she hears Leslie say to her mom, squeezing her arm in a comforting way. But Tina looks away, and Leslie drops her hand with a dejected expression and carefully covered pained eyes. She swallows and regains her composure by the time Karolina is at her side.

And Nico knows something is going on, but her mind can't figure it out. It's frustrating her. Nico is going to keep an eye close to her mom. Maybe she can even invite Karolina to it, given that her mother is also hiding something. But it has nothing to do with the coldness evaporating when Karolina is close to her, and it definitely isn't related to her heartbeat rising over the roof at the thought of spending time together. No, it's not about that at all.

.

.

.

“They think they are so subtle,” Tina had said to her.

“Karolina was blushing!” She had laughed.

“You know, I don't get why they feel like they have to hide from us,” then Tina frowned. “I don't know why Nico feels like she can't tell me something like this. I mean, we aren't the closest right now, but I have never done anything that would make her believe I would be mad, have I?”

“No, of course not,” her voice went soft in an instant. She knows exactly what Tina was feeling, but this wasn't about her. There wasn't many occasions in which Tina would open up to her and she wasn't going to waste it. “I'm sure everything will sort out.”

She had tried to comfort her with a bit of physical contact, only to end rejected. Leslie has got so used to have a physical connection with Tina — it's everything she can offer to her — that it hadn't crossed her mind that Tina wouldn't want exactly that from her.

Leslie takes it as a wake-up call, though, a reminder that she is expendable. Tina can get rid of her in any minute, and so can Leslie. Tina can easily reject her. As tragic as that is, it is still the truth, and Leslie would do good in reminding herself of that.

A soft voice coming from Karolina's room catches her attention. It's familiar and it brings a grim smile to Leslie's face. She knocks the door before going in and the voice stops. Karolina is on her knees, surely praying.

“I thought I heard me.”

“Yeah, I could use a bit of light right now,” Karolina murmurs, and Leslie frowns in worry.

“Everything okay? I thought you and the kids had fun tonight.”

“We did,” she assures. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

She nods with warm smile. “Well, you know I'm here, if you want to talk about it.”

Karolina's forced smile is too obvious, and Leslie has to make an effort to not falter.

“I'll think about it.”

Her daughter clearly has some feelings towards Nico, and the other girl isn't any better. Leslie knows there is nothing she can do to make them want to talk to her or Tina, and it's okay. They are teenagers, after all. But Leslie remembers a little girl that would tell her anything and everything, and she misses that. All she and Tina can do now is wait for the girls to want to tell them.


	3. Chapter 3

She lays in bed, nude, observing this beautiful woman putting her white lace bra and underwear on. Tina thinks she could order room service and ask for food. She shakes that thought away. She should do it after Leslie walks through that door and goes back home. She's comfortable in the hotel bed, away from the husband and the work and every thought that has brought her stress ever. With Leslie right there with her, she feels the rest of the world has ceased to exist. 

Leslie tucks her blouse in her skirt and flicks her hair back. Tina just stares. She wonders if she could make Leslie stay with her a bit more, but she decides to watch her instead. It feels oddly intimate to see her get dressed, more than when she gets  _ un _ dressed. Leslie puts on her heels and takes a lipstick from her purse before she walks over to a mirror and starts applying it.

“When will I see you again?”

Leslie eyes her through the mirror, brows slightly raised at the unexpected question. She quickly recovers, though, and pretends to not be taken off guard as she answers.

“I believe we have a meeting tomorrow morning,” Leslie says, and turns around. Her eyes loss themselves in Tina's body for a second before she gets back a sense of reality and grabs her purse.

“Leslie!” Tina gasps in mock-scandalization. “You just keep unfolding like a flower. Wish I'd known this delightfully voyeuristic side of you.”

Leslie shakes her head with a roll of her eyes. She still gives Tina odd looks, as if she's trying to figure her mind out.

“I honestly don't know what you want me to say, Tina.”

“That’s okay,” Tina drawls, playing loosely with her hair. Leslie has drained the energy out of her and the mattress is way too comfortable for her convenience. “We are not exactly the talking sort.”

That makes her sigh, like that weighs her, and Tina is tempted to ask, to wonder, to sort out the mystery of who this woman is. As she always does, she keeps her mouth shut.

“I’ll text you,” Leslie says.

“Okay,” Tina replies. That's what Leslie always does, anyway.

.

.

.

Leslie doesn't say anything, but she feels a strange energy around Tina. Stranger than usual. Instead of not direct a word toward her until she left, Tina actually talked to her today. She even asked a question she never asked, as she left it to Leslie to be the one that runs back to the other woman's arms. 

There is something weird in her eyes lately. It almost seems like Tina doesn't want her to go. She laughs at the ridiculousness of that thought. It's as nonsensical as the idea that their affair means more than an itch to scratch.

Sleeping with Frank is something she never looks forward to. For her, it's like a chore: she'll do it if she has to, but if somebody else volunteers she won't complain. But, with Tina, she feels an incredible sexual chemistry beyond anything she's ever felt before. It doesn't go past that, however.

She decides to make herself a cup of coffee before going to bed (it doesn't really help her to stay awake, so it won't be problematic). As she waits for the beverage to be ready, she walks toward Karolina's bedroom to say hi to her after not seeing her the entire day. Karolina didn't go to church that morning either, and Leslie didn't hold her against her because she had woken up late, too. 

The bedroom is empty. Karolina isn't there.

“Karolina, I'm home!” She says out loud.

“She said she had plans tonight,” Frank walks into the room, startling her. “Don't you remember?”

She frowns at him as she takes out her phone and calls her daughter. No, she does not remember Karolina anything about any plans, especially late at night.

“Mom?” Karolina picks up her phone.

“Sweetheart, where are you?”

“I'm at Nico's.”

That immediately relieves her. She's in Tina's home, with people she knows and are somewhat trustworthy. “Are her parents there?”

“Yes,” she can hear the puzzlement in Karolina's voice. “Her dad is.”

“How so?” 

“Her mom hasn't arrived from work yet, I think.”

“Oh, okay,” she nods, even though Karolina can't see her. Frank tilts his head in askance. “Are you sleeping over?”

“Yeah.”

“Have fun, then.”

“Bye,” Karolina hangs up.

“She's staying at the Minoru's,” she informs Frank and goes back to the kitchen before he can respond.

.

.

.

Tina has to stay quiet, and Leslie has to hurry if she ever plans on giving her an orgasm. They arrived to Pride's office before the others, and now Tina is regretting ever starting to kiss Leslie when everyone could catch them in any minute, but especially because Leslie is torturing her and she can't be as loud as she would like to be so she's clenching her teeth and biting her tongue to keep the moans and whimpers in.

“Get on with it already!” She bites out.

Leslie stops, and Tina widens her eyes, seriously considering telling her she didn't mean it. “So needy,” she smirks and, to Tina's relief, goes back down to where she needs her the most.

It's embarrassing. She can only imagine how much of a mess she must look like right now, and she guesses her makeup is long since ruined by the occasional smirk in Leslie's lips every time she looks up at her (and every single time she stops her movements, making Tina want to slap her — but that's for later.) She feels Leslie quickening her moves inside of her and Tina lets out a groan when the woman's tongue starts making extra pressure in her clit.

She bites her lip to keep the screams in as her tense body overflows with relief. It's done, and Tina is catching her breath as Leslie wipes her lips clean and puts her fingers in front of her lover's face. Once Tina can think coherently again, she flicks her tongue sensually over them, tasting herself. Leslie seems mesmerized by the action, before she cleans her fingers too. What catches Tina out of guard is that Leslie proceeds to help her fix her skirt with a surprisingly awkward smile.

“Thanks,” she says, and keeps to herself the thoughts of ‘what the hell are you doing, Dean?’

She doesn't want this. Or, at least, she didn't. She groans inwardly at her own confusion.

“You should fix your hair. And your makeup. We wouldn't want anyone to come in and see you like this,” now she smirks smugly, and this Tina knows how to handle.

She glares at her. “It's your fault.”

“You kissed me first.”

“Are we channeling our inner twelve years-old?” She snaps, then sighs. “Let's stick to the bedroom from now on.”

Leslie cocks her head and watches her as she cleans her smudged lipstick off and tries to cover the extra red from her cheeks with makeup. Tina catches her eye sometimes and realizes she's staring. It's unnerving her, but she pretends she doesn't even notice. She tries to brush her hair with her fingers, in vain, and huffs in despair.

“Here, let me help,” Leslie says, reaching for an elastic band and invading her personal space without asking. 

Tina just stares in bewilderment as Leslid ties her hair back with soft movements, mesmerized by the concentration in Leslie's face when she tries to leave her hair impeccable.

“There,” she smiles, satisfied, and steps back, breaking whatever spell she had on Tina.

She's putting her earrings back on when the rest of Pride enters the room. Robert is staring at her with kicked puppy dog eyes, but she ignores him and finds Leslie's gaze instead. She's currently talking about something Tina is trying hard to focus on, but her eyes remain locked with Tina's like they share a big secret no one else knows about — they do, but that's not the point — and she can't help but loss herself in them.

She hopes she doesn't look as much of a mess as she feels like. She will get back at Leslie for this.

.

.

.

“When I mentioned voyeurism-” Tina says while Leslie lets out a gasp underneath her. “I wasn't being serious, you know.”

A hint of a smile appears on Leslie's lips, and she comments with cockiness, “I guess I just keep unfolding like a flower.” Tina going down to hold a nipple between her teeth and pull it makes her drop the look on her face. “Oh my God. Tina!” She moans, throwing her head back. Leslie moves her hips according to Tina's thrusts eagerly.

Tina sucks on Leslie's erect nipple. She drops it, leaving it slick with saliva, and gives the same attention to the other. Leslie is squirming beneath her, and her inner walls are starting shaking around her fingers. While Leslie presses her eyes shut as she bites her lips to keep herself from screaming, Tina makes sure of having her eyes wide open and not missing a single reaction she's pulling out of Leslie. 

She feels the heat in her core increasing with every moan, every gasp, every nail digging into her shoulders. In a bold move, Tina sinks her teeth sharply into the woman's nipple, all future outrage be damned, and she's rewarded with a cry of the most lustful pain Tina has ever heard, Leslie's chest elevating as she comes all over her hand. Tina makes a note on doing that again later.

She waits until Leslie's insides stop shaking to pull her fingers out of her and lay down next to her. Leslie has an arm over her eyes as she catches her breath. “Goodness,” Leslie breaths out and turns to look at Tina. “Where did that come from?”

Tina shrugs. “You liked it, didn't you?”

Leslie looks back to the ceiling, taking deep breaths, her blonde hair muzzled and spread all over the pillow. “I loved it,” she murmurs with honesty, and Tina has to double-check before she realizes what she just said. She expects defensiveness, not sincerity, from Leslie.

“Are you up for drink at my house tomorrow evening?” Tina asks her. She has absolutely no idea where that came from.

Leslie stares at her with that wide-eyed look of wonder before she blinks out of it and to a neutral expression. “Sounds fun.” And she turns to look at the ceiling once again. Tina lets out breath she was holding.

“Are you aware your daughter is spending almost every afternoon at my home?”

That causes a chuckle from Leslie. “I didn't know it was that often, but yes, I am. I hope you check on them regularly.”

“Who do you take me for?” Tina scoffs. “These two are dangerous together. Remember when they wrecked my car?”

Leslie sniggers. “How could I ever forget?”

She sighs in contentment. This is nice.


	4. Chapter 4

Her mom may not realize it, but Karolina is not an idiot. Leslie has been pushing away from Frank — more than usual —, she hasn't schedule Karolina any church issue to deal with without her permission in awhile and she hasn't given Karolina half a glance when she told her she was going to Nico’s. As if it doesn't matter, as if Karolina is free to do whatever she wants.

And it is not just her that notices this, so does Nico. She has realized her mothers are acting different. Both of them are expending extra time out of their house. Karolina has heard that Leslie is in the church much more lately, but, the thing is, she hasn't. Her mom says that but she's more detached from the church than ever. It's freaking her out.

So she suspects Leslie has stopped believing. Or at least, her faith is not as strong as it used to be. And, judging by how her mom is treating her now, Karolina doesn't know if it is supposed to be good or bad.

Her phone buzzes, and she smiles when she sees that it's a message from Destiny. Karolina isn't the best making friends, so when she managed to make one she had shrieked in joy. Destiny is asking if she wants to hang out, and Karolina almost squeals as she says yes.

“What's so exciting?” Her mom enters with a fond smile, that one she has every time she sees her doing something silly but that she finds endearing.

“Destiny just asked me if I want to hang out.”

“Oh,” she says with a raised brow.

“What?”

“I didn't know you two are friends.”

“It's new.”

Her mom just nods, humming thoughtfully. “Are you going to the Minoru's tonight?”

“Why do you ask?” She frowns.

“You are going there all the time nowadays, aren't you?” Leslie arches an eyebrow and she nods. “And tonight?”

“Actually, yes.”

“Oh, good, I'll go with you.”

That picks up the interest. “You're going with me?”

“Tina invited me,” she shrugs, as if it is something regular.

“That's new.”

“Maybe she wants me to help her to keep an eye on you kids,” she winks before standing up and leaving.

She is kind of excited that her mom is going to spend time with her (even if most of it they won't be around each other). Normally it's mostly about the Church of Gibborim they talk about these days and sometimes Karolina feels like she doesn't truly know her mom.

Karolina does wonder, though, since when Tina and Leslie spend outside of Pride. She knew they are friends, but but work friends, not that the kind that hang out and talk about their lives. 

.

.

.

She doesn't understand why is she in the beach. She could be home, or any place indoors and cooler than there, where the sun burned her skin and the sand entered in her sandals. But Alex insisted, keen in that it would be fun for her to get out a bit. Argument she doesn't disagree with, but there is so many places to go and she is not in a beach mood at the time.

“Tell me you at least brought a swimsuit,” Alex tells her, and she gives her a not-very-apologetic look.

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” he holds up his hands. “You'll get in the water anyway.”

She opens her mouth and closes it quickly. “No, I won't.”

“What are you gonna do? Burn yourself alive in the beach?”

She smiles. “There's umbrellas.”

He sighs. “Nevermind. Last time I bring you to the beach.”

“Good, you are learning,” she says, then stops on her tracks when she spots somebody familiar in the crowd.

Karolina sits on the sand next to a girl with brown hair and innocent smile, and they seem to be having a great time. She bites down her cheeks to keep the bad mood bubbling in her chest from raising.

“Wait, isn't that Karolina?” Alex says, and Nico curses him with every fiber of her being. “Let’s say hi.”

“Yeah, let's,” she tries not to sound uncomfortable. She's not sure why but seeing Karolina so happy with this other girl is making her bitter. She doesn't understand it. She loves being around Karolina. It should make sense she would love being around Karolina's friends, too. “You know what?” She stops Alex. “I have to go. The heat is making my head hurt.”

“Wait- Nico!” But she is already turning around and walking away.

At least she'll be able to have Karolina all to herself later that afternoon.

.

.

.

Tina observes Leslie filling a glass of wine with satisfaction, like she has been in dire need of alcohol after a long day of work. The blonde woman sits down on her side, looking out from the window at the backyard.

They can see from the distance Nico and Karolina, talking. Leslie cocks her head in curiosity regarding her daughter. She, unlike Tina, has never seen them alone and together.

“So that's what they do back there?”

“Yes, that's all I've seen them do for the last week.”

Leslie rips her eyes away from the girls and turns her head to her. “Really?”

Tina nods and watches her drink from her glass. They have never done this before, not without Pride in the same room, not without a sexual excuse, and Tina is wondering what came over her to ask her something as ridiculous as to meet to drink and chat. Like they were friends. They aren't. They aren't and it's making Tina insane because she keeps forgetting it. She keeps forgetting that she shouldn't care at all.

“Is Robert in the house?” Leslie asks a moment later.

“No,” she shakes her head and lifts her glass to her lips. She notices Leslie's eyes dropping to them. She has never been very subtle and clearly she doesn't care at all. “He's in a business trip.”

“Is he?” Leslie raises an eyebrow and smirks in that way that lets Tina knows she thinks she is naive, especially after having her husband cheating on her once already.

To be honest, Tina has stopped caring about it. Both about what her husband does, and Leslie's ways to irritate her. They don't work anymore, not when she knows now what happens afterwards.

“I wasn't in the mood for it, I sent him instead,” she says with a bored face.

Leslie eyes her, in that way she shows her she has questions that Tina probably won't answer, so she just shuts up.

“Why am I here, Tina?”

So she's decided to be blunt, Tina thinks. Good, she has missed that about her. Tina, however, is not going to give her the same benefit.

“I thought we could spend some time together,” she shrugs nonchalantly.

“We both know what 'time together’ means for us. And I don't think you want to do  that with the girls in the same house, do you, Tina?” Leslie lifts her eyebrows in a no nonsense look.

“Technically, they are  outside of the house,” Tina corrects her, and, surprisingly, Leslie smirks slyly, supporting her elbow on the back of the couch to elevate herself.

“So, that's what you want,” she whispers, her voice dropping an eighth as her face ends inches away from Tina's, “to succumb to your most carnal desires?”

“Isn't that what we do?” Tina asks rhetorically.

As an answer, Leslie lifts a leg and she's suddenly sitting on her lap. The tip of her fingers ghost over Tina's lips, Leslie's eyes darkened with lust, and then she pecks them. Tina will never admit that she is pouting a little, but Leslie notices and deeply kisses it away. Tina moans, losing herself in her lips until she breaks it off.

Leslie pulls off of her lap and sits down on the couch again, smiling amusedly at the confused look on Tina's face. She gives her thigh a gentle pat.

“Not with the girls in the house,” she whispers secretively.

Tina scowls, “you could have say so  before you did that.”

“But there's no fun in that,” she says. “Now, why am I actually here?”

Tina damns her and her unearthly ability to read people. She doesn't know how she does it, but it keeps condemning Tina over and over again. Because the truth is she has no excuse. She has truthfully invited Leslie on a whim. She wanted to see her and…  Ugh . Tina is becoming one of  those people. The kind that get attached to their lovers and get emotional over dumb things.

She stays silent, preferring that over humiliating herself.

“Alright, don't tell me. I'll talk, then,” Leslie says, and she looks up curiously. “I'm gonna shut the church down.”

Tina keeps being in mute, processing what she has just said. She doesn't really care, to be honest. It's not like Leslie just told her she's leaving Pride — if they are not in Pride together, they have no other real connection that forces them to see one another, no reason for them to keep their... physical relationship or whatever. Except for their daughters, if they ever get their shit together and become girlfriends. Feeling silly, Tina shakes herself. She needs to get a grip of herself. She's married, and so is Leslie. And either way, they aren't anything.

The point is, that church is basically Leslie's entire life and identity. It was unfathomable the mere idea she would ever consider shutting it down.

“Tina?” Leslie snaps her fingers in her face.

She blinks at her. “Yes?”

“You were gone for a second. You okay?”

“Yes,” she straightens up. “It's just… quite the shock.”

“I get it. It is always difficult when life follows a different path to what you expected, but there's no real end, you just have to keep moving.”

That sounds like something coming from the Book of Gibborim (it's possibly she hasn't even noticed), and Tina ignores the bullshit that just came out of Leslie's mouth. The blonde continues anyway.

“Nothing is set in stone yet, but…” she trails off.

“Soon.”

“Soon,” Leslie confirms. “Once the community school project is over the Church of Gibborim will officially cease to exist. It is going to be needed by Pride.”

Tina makes no sound again, deep in thought, until something comes to her mind. “When are you going to tell the others?” She asks, her voice even and giving nothing away.

“As soon as I can.”

“Why are you telling me now?”

Leslie seems troubled for a second, but then she just smiles tightly at Tina and says, “I thought you'd like to know.”

Oh. Tina wishes to know why she told her before the others, in a setting like this, private. But Tina is not about to ask her again. That would be too much for someone who doesn't care.

She aches to, but she doesn't ask. She cares, but doesn't dare say.

.

.

.

“No, you can't do this,” Frank says as he follows her around. She just wants to get rid of all the Gibborim bullshit and move on with her life, but she's unable to when she's so fed up with Frank. It's like he actually cares about the fantasies of an old man.

“It's already done,” she replies simply and keeps shoving things into boxes. But Frank is taking them out. “Would you stop acting like a child?”

“You can't just close the church. You can't just throw away our lives’ work,” he says desperately.

Leslie just raises an eyebrow and puts everything back inside the box. “You mean, my life's work.”

“You can't shut it down. Look at the family we've created here, the people we’ve saved.”

“This church is not a family. It's a scam. Built on my father's bad poetry and the gullibility of desperate people. Which is why I'm shutting it down.”

Frank clenches his fists. “I won't let you do this.” 

She looks mildly amused as he leaves. 

She has yet to tell Karolina about this, and the poor girl is as religious as she once was. She doesn't know how to do this, how to tell her daughter that everything she had said she should believe in is a lie. Especially when Leslie had always put so much importance into religion.

Her phone buzzes, and she frowns as she reaches for and realizes there is a new message from Tina. That's odd. Three times in one day? That has never happened before. They also hadn't slept in the same bed before three days ago, so Leslie shouldn't be as surprised. 

‘I thought the church was your life,’ it says. It isn't about sex.

‘It used to be,’ she responds, and waits — hopes that Tina will text her back.

She represses a smile when the device buzzes in her hands again. 'What happened?’ 

Leslie reads it and purses her lips, wondering how should she answer to that. But she reminds herself Tina doesn't care, Tina just wants a good fuck and petty vengeance. ‘Why do you care?’ She pauses a second before pressing the ‘send’ button. Should she answer to her at all? Tina never replies her messages, Leslie doesn't have any motive to even snap at her via text message. But Leslie does send it, and waits.

She doesn't get a response.


	5. Chapter 5

Leslie recalls quite well the second time they had had sex. Not because of the intercourse per se, but because of what took place a few minutes before it. How could she not when she had been about get punched? And, make no mistake, she was more than willing to punch back.

Both she and Tina got a call that day. From the hospital. Informing them that their daughters had been admitted in it. They had been in a car accident, but they were both okay, the lady on the phone said. That didn't stop Leslie from getting in her car and missing a few red lights on her way to the hospital.

Karolina and Nico were in beds side by side, conscious and seemingly annoyed by having to wait there. Tina was already with Nico, checking if she was in fact alright.

“Karolina!” Leslie said, her eyes on Karolina.

“Hi, Mom,” she smiled guiltily.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yes, it was nothing.”

“You were in a car accident, it's not nothing.”

The girl looked down, biting her lip before she said, “we might have crashed Nico's mom’s car.”

“Nico was driving?! Does she even have a license?”

“She does!” Karolina reassured. “But she wasn't the one driving.”

“What?” Both she and Tina said.

“It was my idea,” Nico intercepted. “She wanted to learn how to drive, so I thought I could teach her.”

“Are you insane?” Tina said. “You could have get yourselves killed. You almost did.”

“I'm sorry, okay? You don't have to make such a big deal out of this,” Nico said.

Karolina seemed anxious about the discussion. “It's my fault. I wanted her to teach me.”

“Karolina,” Nico hissed.

“No, let me.”

Leslie frowned. They were so keen on taking the blame for this. Karolina had always had a kind soul, very unlike her own, so she could understand it from her. But Nico, Leslie didn't know her that much but she didn't seem to give a damn about anything since Amy died.

“Enough,” Tina said, giving her a glare that Leslie didn't understand. “Nico, let's go home.”

“The doctor has to discharge me first,” she reminded her, and her mom sighed.

Leslie saw her walk away, probably to talk with the girls’ doctor, and she followed her, surprised to find her talking on her phone outside, next to her car (not the one the girls crushed). Something about insurance. Then the call ended, and Tina turned around to glare at her.

“What?”

“You realize this is your fault, don't you?” She accused her.

“What are you talking about?”

“You give Karolina too much freedom, and look how things turns out.” Leslie took a deep breath, but Tina didn't stop. “Thanks to her whims they almost die.”

“This is nobody's fault,” she said. “And they are fine. Nico is fine, you're not losing her.”

“Lose her?” Tina scoffed.

“Isn't that what this is about?” she said emphatically as she invaded her personal space. “You are afraid to lose another child.”

“Don't psychoanalyze me.” Tina's eyes threw daggers at her, she could see her clenching her fists in rage. “You have no idea how I feel.”

Leslie snapped at the venom in her voice. She had tried to be sympathetic, she had wanted to make her feel better, but if Tina wanted to be ungrateful and ridiculous, she wasn't going to stand it. She wasn't as soft as Tina liked to believe, and she wasn't a punching bag at Tina's service.

“Oh, but I do. If you can't keep yourself together at a crisis, don't put this on me.”

Tina raised her hand as if to slap her.

“Oh, are you going to slap me? Go right ahead,” Leslie challenged her with a sneer.

“I was thinking about smacking you in the head.”

Leslie took off her earrings and didn't hesitate mimicking the movement, advancing dangerously. Instead of a burning pain in her cheek, Leslie felt her back pressed against the car abruptly. She exhaled, and didn't even consider it twice before she slammed their lips together, letting Tina dragging her into the backseat of the car.

.

.

.

“Hey, Nico!” 

She turns around, and there is Karolina with the biggest smile, waving at her. She is about to return it when she realizes who is with her. The girl with brown girl she saw in the beach is accompanying Karolina and walking toward her with her.

“Karolina,” she gives her a small smile.

“This is Destiny,” she introduces them. “She just transferred to our school.”

“That's- good,” she says weakly.

“She’s a friend of mine from the church.”

“Oh.”

“It's nice to meet you. Nico, right?” She nods. “I think Karolina told me about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Eh, nothing. See you later.”

She watches her walk away biting the inside of her cheeks.

“Hey, are you okay?” Karolina asks her and catches her off guard when she presses a hand to her forehead. “You seem constipated.”

She takes a step back with a frown. “I'm fine.”

“Right,” Karolina says, but doesn't look convinced. She puts an arm around Nico's shoulders like it belongs there and they walk together. 

Then Nico stops suddenly. “Mom?” Karolina looks around and finds Tina Minoru parked outside the school. They approach her. “What are you doing here?”

“Good afternoon to you, too,” Tina says, making her roll her eyes. “I was in the area and decided I could give you girls a ride home.”

Nico is officially freaked out. Her mom hasn't picked her up from school since she was fourteen.

“Me, too?” Karolina asks. Her mom nods.

As Tina drives to Karolina's house, the girls sit awkwardly in the backseat, not quite sure how to act together around Nico's mother. Tina doesn't blame them. She also doesn't want them to be all over each other around her. There is a difference between wanting her daughter to be happy and encouraging her to make public displays of affection.

However, she can also tell, by the tension in Nico's shoulders, that something is going on with them. Karolina is calm, peaceful, like every problem has disappeared seated next to Nico. She probably has no idea. She shakes her head inwardly. It's in these moments where Nico reminds her to herself the most. Closed off, thoughtful, cold with those she is supposed to be loving. Tina guesses that at the time she had good reasons to be cold, but it's mostly just an excuse she gives herself.

“Aren't those your parents?” Nico asks as she points through the window.

Tina looks to Leslie's house and her heart stops. Frank is hugging Leslie tightly, big smiles on their faces, as they enter the house with a bottle of champagne in hand.

“I think they are celebrating.”

“Celebrating what?”

“I don't know. Maybe something good happened today.”

Tina doubts it. She doesn't think they consider shutting the church down good news. Still, seeing Leslie so close to Frank, with such an excitement in her face, it makes her drive away fast just as Karolina steps into the sidewalk. She has never considered, not until now, that Leslie might actually love her husband and be happy with him. 

.

.

.

Frank got the part. After a three years long break, he is finally working again and she couldn't be happier. She feels she's been providing for everything while he did nothing but annoy her. She kisses his cheek and walks to the door, champagne still in her system and all, as Pride has called her for an emergency with the security of the building of the community school. Normally, the Wilders would take care of it, but this is specifically about a disturbance her men caused.

“Do you really have to go? This is my night.”

“You know I can't ignore their calls.”

“I really don't get it,” he throws his hands upwards. “You always put your billionaire friends above me.”

She gives her tired look. “This is not just about them. This is about me, Frank.”

“Leslie-"

“I need to go.”

“Leslie!”

She walks out the door and doesn't look back. As she gets into her car, she takes out her phone and dials Tina. They had agreed to meet later that night, but Leslie knows she's not going to make it. Leslie sighs as she lays back into the car seat. She was looking forward to see Tina again. 

“Hello?”

She frowns. That's not Tina's voice. It actually sounds a lot like Janet's, for some reason, but that is impossible.

“Janet?” She says. “What are you doing with Tina's phone?”

“Oh, she is busy right now with... something.”

That sounds awfully suspicious and Leslie doesn't like it one bit. There is no coherent reason for Janet to ever pick up Tina's cellphone. They are hiding something from her. She can smell the secrecy from a mill away.

“Janet, are you coming or not?” She hears Tina's voice calling in the background. 

“Leslie is calling you,” Janet tells her.

“Well, hang up and stop wasting time. I need your help here.”

“Sorry,” Janet says to Leslie. “You will have to call her back later.”

Leslie mumbles a quick bye, an enormous frown in her face as she hangs up and starts the car. That was odd. She wonders what that tightening in her chest means. She decides she doesn't want to know, that she should repress it immediately and utilize her attention on Pride. She can worry about what those two are up to later — which can only be extremely worrying if they are on speaking terms.

.

.

.

Leslie slams the door shut. She has had a terrible day. Just when she thought things were finally getting easy for her, the universe had to come and prove her wrong. Two of her guards got into a fight and while they were at it someone from that neighborhood had intruded into the construction and stolen another guard's gun and a few other things. It's like she has to do everything by herself. Honestly, she can trust no one at this point.

Pride has always had a strange connection and, while they can't call each other friends (the mere thought is ridiculous), they don't care about loyalties and betrayals, they keep being a team anyway — that's what came back to bite Leslie in the ass. She had to go and fix the Wilder's mess (of course she blames them, they were in charge of the project), because that is the right and loyal thing to do.

And then, Tina. She and Janet Stein are keeping secrets from her. Leslie had been there for her when Robert's affair with Janet had come out. It has always been them against the rest, and how does she repay that loyalty? She sneaks around with Janet Stein, of all people. Leslie huffs in indignation. Tina said she “needed her help here.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” She snaps aloud in the empty living room. And what was she planning to do anyway? It sounds all too shady. Leslie has her ideas of what Tina could need her help with and she doesn't like it at all.

She huffs loudly again and walks into her bedroom. Frank is there, in the bed.

“Hey,” he salutes her.

Leslie takes a deep breath, and doesn't thinks too much when she takes her clothes off. She's come to the conclusion she needs to get Tina out of her system. It's not healthy what they're doing, it has to stop. She stands naked in front of Frank. His eyes darken as Leslie crawls into the bed and under the covers, straddling Frank's lap as she feels him hardening underneath her.

Leslie swallows. Maybe she's just confused. Maybe this way she can get rid of those annoying feelings. Maybe she needs to focus on her husband more — even though she never married him with a purpose other than having a beard. Maybe her heart can stop going crazy every time Tina is close to her, she just has to cut relations with her.

.

.

.

Leslie wakes up the morning after, groaning in self-loathing when she remembers what she did the night before. She feels dirty.


	6. Chapter 6

Something has been off about Leslie for the last couple days. She had entertained the idea of closing the church affecting Leslie more than she would like to admit, but almost immediately she disregarded it. Leslie is too excited about it to be sad. Maybe, and only because Tina allows herself to be hopeful (to her own dismay), it's a reaction to Tina acting differently. She doesn't deny it, seeing Leslie with Frank has gotten her thinking, but she is certain she is anything but an open book when it comes to her feelings.

Leslie slides off her, giving herself a few seconds to rest before she stands up. Tina frowns up at her. She is enjoying the benefits of her afterglow, but she is conscious enough to know Leslie hasn't come yet. She opens her mouth to tell her to come back to bed. She doesn't get the chance to, however, Leslie has already dressed up and walked out of the bedroom. 

She even forgot her phone, Tina muses as she eyes the device on the nightstand. She could use this opportunity to go talk to her about whatever is going on with her while she returns her her phone.

During breakfast next morning, she can't help but keep a hand in her pocket, constantly tapping on Leslie's phone with the impatience of a five year-old. She barely registers Nico calling out her name after she's spent five minutes staring blankly at her food instead of eating it.

“You are acting weird.”

She looks up at her daughter. “I just have a lot on my mind, you don't have to worry.”

“Okay… Are you and Dad not okay?”

“Nico, I don't think your father and I are ever going to be okay again,” she says honestly, and sighs. She waits for the disappointment or the anger. Tina gets none. Instead, Nico nods in understanding.

“Yeah, I didn't think so,” Nico chuckles dryly. Tina aches for her daughter, for not being able to give her the family she deserves, and because this has been awaiting for so long that Nico it's not even surprised.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she makes no attempt to grab it. She wishes it was Leslie, wanting to talk to her about what I going on with her lately. She knows it isn't her, though, not when Tina's got her phone. However, she has an idea of what is happening. Leslie's guilt over cheating is finally getting the best of her.

“I'm going to school,” Nico says. “Bye.”

“Goodbye, Nico.”

She checks her cellphone later. It's Robert asking if she wants to have lunch with him. She says yes.

.

.

.

She throws all the Books of Gibborim she possess. Leslie doesn't want nor need them anymore, they are lies.

“What are you doing?” Frank finds her in the back of the church. He grabs one of the books from the pile in the garbage. “This was your father's journal.”

She takes it from him and throws it back. “It's bullshit.”

“I don't understand, why are you doing this?” He almost begs, and Leslie gives him an ‘you are an idiot’ look.

“Nobody will need them anymore once the church is closed.”

“But- I thought you changed your mind!”

“Why would you think that? I not once expressed my desire to keep the church of Gibborim in the last three weeks.”

“But we-” he sighs. “I thought you could do it for me.”

Leslie smiles pityingly, like one smiles to a lost puppy, and squeezes his arm. “You said that all you want is Karolina and I, is that still true?”

“Of course.”

“Then choose. Us, or the church.”

With those last words, she leaves Frank alone and gets inside of the church, then walks into her office. She doesn't want Frank, not really. Frank likes to fool himself believing that her sleeping with him was meaningful, but Leslie only cringes at the memory. That can't be right, you aren't supposed to dislike being intimate with your spouse. Except when you are Leslie and your spouse is Frank, and you only married him because it looked good on paper. 

Frank looks great on paper, especially when all you wanted was somebody to cover the affair you were having with an older married man. So she dated him, married him, had a child with him, and she abhorred him and all he represented as consequence. Leslie stops on her tracks when she notices who is in her office, waiting for her.

“What are you doing here?” She asks Tina. The brunette has never been in her church before, she had no reason.

“You left your phone last night,” Tina answers, stepping forward to place Leslie's cellphone over her desk. Leslie glances it, a hand making its way to her pocket to realize that she, in fact, has spent the whole morning without her phone.

“Oh,” she looks down, embarrassed, then takes the device with a quick grab and sits behind her desk. “Thanks.”

They look at each other in silence for an awkward moment. Leslie just can't bring herself to act normal around Tina. If she tries, if she stays around her for a second too long, if she talks about something meaningful as they've seemed to be doing lately, she is afraid she'll burst in tears.

She has finally realized that their affair has an expiration date and she wants to hit herself at how stupid she's been to think otherwise. She is sure it isn't just her that knows this. Tina has been more distant than ever and she doesn't know if she has done something wrong or if it is Tina's interest in her coming to an end. Naturally. As it was always meant to happen.

She is not even sure if she trusts Tina right now. Not when she is having secret meetings with  _ Janet Stein _ and keeping things from her. 

Leslie looks away again and swallows thickly. She doesn't fight the urge to squeeze her fists tightly under the desk.

“Is that all? Because I have a busy day and-”

“Yes,” Tina says, so quickly that Leslie's eyes lay on her with obvious disappointment.

“Actually, I need to know,” she stands up and moves around the desk until she is in front of Tina. “The other day, I called you, to tell you an emergency had come up and I would be able to see you,” she tells her, and the woman tilts her head in curiosity. “Janet picked up.”

She observes Tina's expression closely, trying to spot any changes in it, but finds nothing. She lets out a small growl of frustration that only confuses Tina.

“I don't understand. What about it?”

“What were you doing together?” She demands to know.

Tina looks amused. “Are you jealous?”

“Oh, please. As if.”

“It looks to me that you are.”

“This isn't about jealousy. This is about trust, and you've been keeping things from me.”

“We all have our secrets, Leslie. You know that better than anyone.”

“Not us! Not about Pride. Don't you get it? It's always been you and me, Tina. No one else. Us against them. At least that's what I thought.”

Tina's face is serious, mournful even, as realization comes to her. Tears fill her eyes as she chooses her next words carefully. “I think we have given too much meaning to this. I think we've forgotten there is not us.”

“You are right,” Leslie breathes in in an attempt to hold herself up. “I think this, whatever there is between us needs to end.”

“What?” Tina is shocked. “You are gonna end this? For Janet?”

“It isn't about Janet.”

“You left clear that it is.”

“And you left clear that what we had was meaningless! This is about trust, not Janet. I don't think I can be around you right now.”

Leslie notices Tina's eyes hardening, pushing a bit away from her. “That’s what you want?”

“It's what is right.”

Tina nods and turns around to leave the office. Once Leslie is certain nobody is around to see, a sob emerges from her throat along with a lonely tear that spills down her cheek. 

She doesn't know why it hurts so much, why it feels like her heart can't survive if it remains inside of her chest. She won't be seeing Tina anymore, and she can't stand the thought of it. Leslie closes her eyes to avoid shedding more tears.

It's pointless, though, they spill through her lashes. She rubs her eyes with her fists quite forcefully as she falls back down her chair with a feeling of hopelessness, sniffing in an unsuccessful try to soothe herself.

.

.

.

She sits silently as she plays with her food. Robert keeps trying to make conversation and Tina has chatted with him at first, caught in the memories of poorer, yet somewhat happier times. At some point, though, she remembered herself trying to have a normal conversation with her husband, trying to make things right and get closer to him — closer like they haven't been in months — only to be rejected. 

She sobered up. She's not in a good mood. It isn't fair that Robert can get her to smile and forget about their marital problems, but she couldn't when she had tried the same thing. All because he was seeing someone else. Now, she is, and she can't help but feel a twisted sense of satisfaction at the irony of it. Well, she used to be with someone else, she remembers, and the satisfaction disappears.

He had broken her heart, he hadn't even cared about her afterwards and then he had crawled back to her as if he just knew she would take him back even after all he did. She had. They are together, but he'll never fully have her, she will never truly forgive him. He keeps trying to get her to, but she knows nothing he does will please her.

Leslie has pleased her, and now she is gone. Tina thinks that maybe it's for the best. That maybe she should make an effort, try and (she almost chokes on vomit) be the bigger person, and have a healthy relationship with her husband. She can't.

She can't take it anymore. She knows she is not going to try, she knows their family won't be the same ever again, she knows all of this is useless.

“I want a divorce,” she blurts out before she can even process what she said.

Silverware is dropped abruptly to the table and onto the floor. Robert is gaping at her as if this hasn't been waiting to happen for months.

“What? But… what about Nico?”

“She’ll understand. I got the feeling she won't be surprised.”

“Won't be surprised?” He raises his voice a bit. “Her parents are getting a divorce, this is going to affect her.”

“She'll get over it,” she waves it off.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I talked to her,” she answers easily. His eyes widen, and his face reddens in anger.

“You talked to her about this before?” He sounds outraged, but Tina just bores her eyes on him. “Behind my back?”

“I did not,” she huffs. “We may have our issues, but I would never use Nico like that. You are her father. You are her favorite,” she adds bitterly.

“But you went and told her we are getting divorced before anything is official and without me.”

“I didn't tell Nico we are getting a divorce. She asked me if I thought we'd be fine and I merely told her the truth,” she says, and Robert opens his mouth to complain but Tina shuts him by adding. “Secondly, it's not something you can change my mind about, Robert. We are getting a divorce.”

“Well, I don't want to.”

“Good thing is not up to you then,” she stands up and grabs her purse. “I'll expect to find your things out of the house for tonight. You are staying at a hotel.”

“What? You can't do this. It's my house too!”

“Yes, and you were so eager to leave it just a few months ago,” she retorts as she leaves him sitting alone at the restaurant.

It feels great, it feels like payback — although, she doesn't return to the office afterwards. She finds herself at home, stripping out of her clothes and stepping into the shower. Once the water runs down her back, searing hot in a comforting way, she curls herself on the shower floor. Then, for some reason she can't fathom, she cries.

.

.

.

“Dad, have you seen Mom?”

She stops to observe him for a second. Frank is looking like a mad man, holding a bunch of versions of the Book of Gibborim. His gaze darkens at the mention of her mom.

“She's probably in her office, getting rid of more sacred objects,” he scowls.

Karolina frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Don't you know?” His face glows in interest. “Your mom is closing the church.”

Karolina's eyes widen. “She… she what?”

“I know, it's crazy. You have to help me to make her see the light again, sweetie. She's not listening to reason, but maybe, if you talk to her…”

But Karolina is not paying attention to him anymore. She turns around and strides towards her mom's private office, fuming. She doesn't understand this woman. She spends Karolina's entire life telling her to be good, to believe, to have faith, that she's going to take over the church one day. And now she does  _ this _ .

Karolina doesn't care, though. No, the church can go to hell. It is, after all, what limited her freedom, what stopped her from rebelling. Karolina is going to stand by her mother's side in this decision. But she is pissed off too, because she has spent her whole life being the obedient daughter and now her mom doesn't even bother in informing her she's going to shut the church down.

(She’s going to shut the church down, Karolina realizes then, her, Leslie, the ultimate Ultra. It's like the world is upside down.)

Karolina doesn't waste time on knocking the door. She burst into the office without a second thought, stopping on her tracks when she lies eyes on her mom. She's sobbing, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Mom?” She approaches her, worried.

Leslie jerks her head up, then wipes her eyes clean quickly as if Karolina hasn't already seen her.

“Honey,” she croaks and clears her throat when she hears her own voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Dad told me you are closing the church,” she says distractedly, her mind more focused on her mom's state. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, it's nothing,” she smiles tenderly at her, though it loses its calming effect when she sniffs. “Don't worry about it.”

“But-”

“And yes, I'm closing the church,” she says before Karolina can complain. “Did your father put you up to an elaborate plan to stop me? Because he can keep dreaming,” she sighs, hands pressing against her temples and rubbing them.

“He tried, but it's not about that.”

Karolina tries to gather that self-righteous rage she had been feeling a few seconds ago, but it has evaporated. She finds it a bit difficult to be mad at a woman whose eyes are red-rimmed and whose nose is puffy and flushed from crying her eyes out.

“What's wrong, Mom?” She asks her.

But her mom waves her concern off. “It doesn't matter, you wouldn't understand.”

Karolina is getting tired of adults repeating her that, treating her like a child that doesn't get that people have problems and emotions.

“You don't care about the church?” Leslie asks her, eyeing her carefully.

She thinks about it for a moment. “Not really.”

“You can't do it anymore either, don't you?” Her mom says with a soft smile.

“What do you mean?”

“All these people that wants you to 'let the Light enter you’,” she rolls her eyes, “and all that bullshit.” Karolina's eyes bulge. She swears she hasn't heard her mom curse not once in her life. “It's too much sometimes.”

“Yes, it is,” Karolina steps closer and sits down. 

“Not to mention lies,” her mom scoffs to herself, then looks at her biting her lip. “So, you are okay with this?”

“Yeah.”

“I could use a break,” she stands up. “Shall we find your dad and have dinner?”

Karolina stares at her mom, still dumbstruck for what just happened. She nods and follows her outside. They find her dad, looking at them with hope in his eyes. She had forgot he wanted her to convince her mom of not closing the church. She shakes her head and he deflates.

She looks down at her phone, a message of Chase asking if she can go to his house tomorrow with the gang. She types yes, and proceeds to ask him how his dad is. She has no idea what happened and anyone who knows refuses to tell her.

“Who are you talking to?” Frank says.

“It's Chase.”

“You two are very close lately,” he says suggestively. Leslie raises her eyebrows disbelievingly.

“We are just friends.”

“And you sure he wants just that?”

“Oh, Frank, leave her alone.”

“I'm just asking.”

Her mom sighs and gives her a side glance, like she knows something and it's obvious, but Frank is too blind to realize it. Karolina frowns. Her mom puts a hand in her arm in support (what for, Karolina has no idea).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry? Okay, I'm not. This was gonna happen eventually, I just didn't realize it happened so soon.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

When she comes back home, Nico can tell her mom's been crying. Her hair is soaking wet, like she just took a shower, and with her face lacking of make-up, Nico is able to see the red-rimmed eyes accompanying the bags under them. She hasn't noticed that before. Her mom hasn't been sleeping well. She wonders if she should leave it alone or worry like she feels she is doing right now. It's her mom's business and life, and while it doesn't directly affect her she doesn't think she can ask her about it.

She approaches the kitchen with slow steps. Tina turns around and forces a small smile when she sees her, which makes Nico confused instantly. Her mom doesn't do fake smiles. She only hides her emotions under a stone-cold expression that Nico is sure she has been perfecting since the day she was born. Or since her conception, even, it might just be in her DNA. 

“Hey, Mom.”

“Nico,” she says. “I thought you'd be home later.”

“Karolina had other plans.”

“Everything okay?” Her mom asks, and by the tone she carries, Nico might even believe she cares about it.

“Yeah.”

Except Karolina ditched her for Chase and Nico is left alone again. Supposedly, Chase texted Karolina for her support with some family emergency, but Nico doesn't really buy it. Her girl could be naive at times.

“And Dad? He isn't home yet?”

“He and I… We are getting a divorce,” her mom says, chin up fiercely, and she would never be able to believe she was affected if it weren't for the fact that Nico knows she's been crying. That explains it, and it's one less thing for Nico to worry about. Her mom will be fine eventually, she knows, she always is. “He'll be moving out tonight.”

“Okay.”

There is a pain in her chest she wants to ignore for the life of her, because if she doesn't she is going to cry. Nico will never forgive herself if she cries in front of her mom. That is on the top of her list of things that would take part of her own personal hell. Besides, everyone's parents got divorced nowadays. It's normal, it's okay, it's a stupid thing to feel bad about, especially when you aren't a little kid.

But Nico remembers Amy. She remembers a dad that would take her side, and a hardass mom that was a little distant, but that she could tell she cared. She remembers how, while they weren't the happiest, they were all together. They were a family, and that counted. Nico remembers that, and every time she does she can't help but feel like crying.

She looks up to her mother, however, swallows down her feelings and repeats, “Okay.” 

.

.

.

Her gaze keeps drifting away from the book and toward her phone. Leslie shakes her silly thoughts away. She can't contact Tina. As much as she'd love to reach for her phone and hear her voice one more time, she knows it is only her going insane.

It's for the best. Together, she and Tina have a chaotic energy. One moment they were having non-committal fun, and the next they ignored each other with no reason whatsoever.

(She knows there is always a reason. A deep one that makes her shiver at night and close her eyes in fear and unwanted hope. Those pesky little things called feelings. She had always found them the most wonderful thing in the world, and yet she is beginning to notice the nightmare they really are when they aren't reciprocated.

Love, she has learned, is a gift she should treasure, but is it really love what she feels? How could it be? She respects Tina, even cares about her, possibly also lays awake at night thinking about her — but, love? That is a step too far, Leslie muses.)

Leslie has always hated that back-and-forth in their relationship. It was only brought by their affair, as what they used to be was so much simple. She recalls the first time they had looked at each other across the room and seen a partner, somebody they could trust.

It was over five years ago, during a small fallout for Pride. The Yorkes had gone away to visit some of Molly's family members and stayed out of communication for months and it was right around the time Frank's popularity started dissipating. Leslie and Frank were the public image, together with Karolina, the ones who attracted the general public and therefore gave Pride more fame. It all turned into a huge decrease on their annual fundraiser, which was mostly what kept them driving.

Leslie had been the one that made the hard choices for the team, as outrageous as they were, and announced they would have to close plenty of their out-of-city soup kitchens and the runaways program in her church that was financed by Pride. Most of the members were completely against it, declaring it would be bad press for them. It was Tina who stood by her and defended her choices to the others. In return, Leslie expected she had been able to do the same for her.

That was all they were, and Leslie missed the simplicity of what they used to be. She used to be reassured by the thought of somebody ready to take her side. On the other hand, she is now aware that that is not enough anymore. Before, their relationship was so impersonal and detached. She knew Tina well, as one should after fifteen years, but not in a deep or caring level. Sure, now they are a mess but at least she knows her like she wants to.

Tina likes to sleep in till late. Tina likes to watch her as she gets dressed. Tina thinks it's hot to watch her get _ un _dressed. Tina feels confident with red lipstick on. Tina hates coffee but she pretends she likes it when she is around her (Leslie still doesn't know why). Tina is scared of cockroaches. Tina only likes massages when given by a partner. Tina doesn't like to go home at night. Tina has sleep issues. Tina can't sleep alone. Tina wishes she could connect with Nico. Tina's eyes look hurt when she thinks about Robert.

Those things she has learned during the past seven months. And Leslie can name a thousand more.

She is so distracted by every particularity of Tina that she doesn't catch Frank's glare directed at her as he walks to the front door. She doesn't even registers his pointed “goodbye” at her. When he clears his throat forcedly, Leslie snaps her head up, a puzzled look making her brows furrowed. 

“You could at least answer when I say bye,” he snaps. “It’s not like we are one of those marriages that hate each other.”

She resists the urge to roll her eyes. His tone would suggest otherwise, but she keeps her snark to herself. “Today’s your first day shooting, right?”

“Yes,” he says, and she can see him softening at her remembering. 

“Good luck, then,” she smiles, because she can give him that. Leslie's always been good at it, at pretending she loves him and supports him like she should, and he has always been good at believing her.

“Thanks.”

“Bye,” and when she says it, she swears her tone only has a bit of cheek.

Frank leaves. Karolina eyes her once they are alone. She sighs to herself, hoping her daughter is not about to ask any questions she isn't willing to answer. She sees the puzzlement in her eyes, the curiosity. That is what has always made Karolina her bright girl.

Karolina opens her mouth, but Leslie interrupts her before she can say something. “Your father is just sad about the church closing. It hit him too hard.”

Karolina nods, brow furrowing in a way that makes Leslie wonder if she said the right thing. She goes back to her room. Leslie steps into the kitchen and makes herself a cup of tea. She is reminded, briefly, about the Pride meeting that is taking place at the moment at the Wilder's. Tina will be there, she knows. Leslie bites the inside of her cheeks. If she were to skip it, it would be suspicious. 

She is no coward. She can endure an hour in the same room as Tina. Right?

.

.

.

Tina gives up on having a peaceful meeting the second Stacey and Dale start telling knock knock jokes. Her patience has been borderline non-existent since yesterday and they aren't helping it. If only Tina had the power to vanish people at will…

She is aware, deep down her heart, of the real reason of her nerves. Leslie will arrive in any second now, fifteen minutes later than the time established. If that wasn't enough of a torment, Robert keeps pointingly not making eye contact with her, which is beginning to be noticable. She ignores it.

To his benefit, Robert has been incredibly compliant with her terms in the divorce. She thinks he might feel guilty, believe the split it's his fault only. All they need now is for their lawyer to hand them the papers and for them to sign them.

Her gaze drifts to Janet, the unforgivable mistress. She keeps her distance from Robert like she's never held any interest in him. She still finds her bothersome, but she is willing to admit she makes an acceptable work partner. Janet has been helping her with a new project, as an association of her husband's business and Tina's that Victor isn't interested in. Tina needed someone with Victor's knowledge, and for some reason Janet volunteered.

As much as it pains her to admit it, she and Janet work well together. The woman spots her looking at her. Janet smiles at her. Tina looks away, resisting the urge to grimace. The last thing she needs is for that woman to believe they are besties.

“I couldn't catch up with you before,” Geoffrey says out loud for all of them to hear. Tina looks up. “Did everything come up alright, Leslie?”

Tina can't help but stare at the little frown that takes place in Leslie's face. The blonde's gaze pauses a second over Tina's before staying in Geoffrey's. She seems completely indifferent of Tina, and she seems completely indifferent of Leslie in return. Or maybe it's the other way around.

“Yes, the situation is under control. The boys won't pull anything like that again,” she looks down, a humorless smile on her lips. “Not that I'm gonna let them anywhere near this project.”

There's a silence. “Okay,” Geoffrey says finally.

“Well," Leslie puts her hands together. “What did I miss?”

“We were waiting for you to start out," Catherine says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I would've made this longer but I've not idea how charities work. I googled it, and it turns out the owners don't really do much soooo I'll let it up to your imagination what Pride do in their meetings when there's no murder involved.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! You probably noticed that I changed the number of chapters. I've been editing —for the sake of my sanity and my bad writing— so this'll be longer than I thought. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Their last meeting was a complete disaster. Tina and Leslie both had been painfully aware of the elephant in the room as the meeting elapsed. They did what they were good at and ignored it, which translated into ignoring each other.

Half hour into the meeting, Pride assigned them a task. Together. The upcoming wasn't pretty. Leslie had stuttered for the first time in probably her entire life. Tina had snapped that she could do things on her own, that she didn't need a babysitter.

Everyone stared at her like they were afraid she had finally lost what was left of her sanity. Tina herself had been wondering about that at the moment. The only one looking away, down to her own feet, had been Leslie. By the time everybody out their attention away from Tina, Leslie was all poise and chin high up.

Tina would've love to stare, but people were around.

Well, she purses her lips in a bitter manner, that is what she used to do. Now she'll prefer to not look at her way altogether. Why won't she when she has been dumped over something as ridiculous as Janet? Not that she cares. Leslie is something she gives little thought. Only a ludicrous affair that had mixed with a slight midlife crisis.

Tina takes a gulp of her cup of coffee. It tastes like bitterness and lies. And so many memories. The taste of nostalgia so overwhelming it takes her a minute to realize she hates coffee.

At some point around their relationship, Tina had woken up in the mood for coffee, instead of her usual morning (and afternoon) tea. But, more specifically, she was in the mood for drinking coffee with Leslie, whose favorite drink was a two sugars latte. So that night, when she unexpectedly called Leslie and invited her to an hotel to “have a chat,” she had two cups of coffee in one hand.

Leslie was already in there, which was odd given that she was always just a little late to everything (Tina suspected she liked to make an entrance). But what seriously surprised Tina — exalted her, you could say — was that Leslie had been very enthusiastic, and, by enthusiastic, she meant that she slammed her against the wall roughly, as if she had been waiting to do that for ages.

It would have been passionate and Tina would have been all for it, if it weren't for the two lattes in Tina's hands that fell with the brusque movement and spilled all over Leslie's dress.

“Christ!” Leslie yelped, staring at the brown stain on the white fabric. The muscles of her abdomen flexed at the hot liquid, a distracting movement that deserved more attention than it got as Leslie had looked at her like she wanted to kill her. “What is this?”

“It's coffee,” she did her best not to cringe and to sound nonchalant. “I got thirsty.”

“So you brought it here? And why would you bring two?”

“Last time I try and do something nice,” she muttered. “It wouldn't have fallen if you hadn't gotten all excited and pushed me.”

Leslie let out the longest sigh. She shook her head to herself before gripping Tina's jaw with one hand and bringing their mouths together. It was an exasperated move that became passionate the moment their lips touched. The cups were forgotten in the floor as Tina started feeling Leslie's hands everywhere, her nails digging into the woman's back to ground herself. The wet dress wasn't a problem anymore, it was abandoned in some corner and out of Leslie's body.

It had been an impulse, one that had began a sequence of multiple encounters in that same room. It had resulted in espectacular sex. Yet Tina wasn't in a mood for coffee anymore. She had the real thing.

She recalls having felt humiliated, just a bit, and decided to not call Leslie anymore and let it to the her.

Nowadays, all Tina drinks is coffee. She loves the smell, the bitter taste dancing around her tongue that brings her an unexplainable ecstacy. What she doesn't like is coffee. Why does she keep drinking it? She knows all too well. It's emotional and pathetic, and it brings back a side of her that she hasn't seen since she was seventeen. She misses Leslie.

Who would've thought? Tina Minoru is a sentimental. She is disgusting herself by not being able to move on like a normal person after having an emotionally-detached affair. 

Tina looks down at the papers in her hand. Both her signature and Robert's are in it, making official their divorce. She feels like she can finally breathe again — though sometimes the breathing comes out like a sob when she starts feeling alone but that is purely coincidental.

Tina is having the headache of her life. It was supposed to be payback for what Robert did, it was supposed to be a way of releasing tension. Growing feelings wasn't part of the plan. And now Leslie is gone and those tiny inconveniences refuse to go away with her. She let herself get too comfortable and this is the consequence.

She misses her. Not just in her bed, but in the Pride meetings, drinking and smirking at the Yorkes’ antics as Tina complains about the brie, being Tina's right hand in the leadership since Jonah was gone. 

She is lonely, not even married anymore (what would her mother think?). Robert is heartbroken about the divorce. Tina thinks she should feel some kind of sickening pleasure out of it, but all she feels is a void in her heart. She's going through the exact same thing. Both of them have lost an over-a-decade long relationship, the love of their lives, and there is no going back. Not that Tina wants to, she'll get over it at some point.

.

.

.

Karolina's mom has never gained weight in her entire life. She always managed to remain the same, and Karolina has had the fortune of inherit her metabolism. So it came as a surprise when Leslie started to seem… bigger. Barely, though. To everyone else's eyes it wouldn't be noticed, but Karolina knows better, and she's well trained on their family metabolism.

Another of the peculiarities Karolina has noticed during the past four weeks is that her mom and Nico's have gone from having girls nights to not seeing each other at all. Knowing their moms, she and Nico assume they had a fight.

“Mom, I'm going to Nico's,” she tells her.

Leslie looks up just before a drink of her green tea. Once she processes her words, her mom smiles and says, “have fun!”

It's nice this new dynamic they have nowadays without the church dictating their lives. It does sadden her, nonetheless, the distance that has established between her parents. They used to be so happy, drinking and dancing in the backyard every time they had something to celebrate and smiling fondly at each other without saying anything. 

Now they barely talk. Frank is sulking about the church closing. Leslie is rolling her eyes at him and telling him harshly that “the church is pretend. That's why you like it so much.” Karolina has never seen her like that and she's not sure if she likes it.

Karolina has realized her mom has attitude. Nico says she likes it every time she comes by. The occasional snark (always directed at Frank) and the cursing (when she is reminded of Gibborim) and the not-tell-your-mom's that end up in a tense silence and an odd look in her face before she talks about something else.

They don't actually like the last one. It does fill them with curiosity, though they just shrug and keep talking about anything but it.

She doesn't tell about Tina's divorce, and Leslie doesn't ask about her either. Karolina knows she dies to, but she doesn't. She wonders how she survives a Pride meeting when she can barely talk about Tina without her jaw clenching.

“Karolina?” Nico says. “What's on your mind? You have been staring at the wall for half a minute.”

“Oh, sorry,” she blushes a little. “Do you know when the community school building starts?”

“I don't know. My mom doesn't talk about these things.”

“Oh. It's just…” she sighs and looks at Nico deep in the eyes. “Don't you think it's weird my mom is not interested in it? Pride is like her baby, she's been working on it since before I was even born.”

“All of our parents have,” Nico reminds her.

“Right. Sorry, I'm sure you were talking about something important and I'm just annoying you with this stuff.”

“You are not annoying me,” she assures her, taking her hands on her own. “Besides, the dance is not that much of a big deal. This thing is bothering you, it's okay if you want to talk about it with me.”

“Even if it's stupid?”

“Of course.”

She beams at her. “So, what's up with the dance?”

“I don't  _ want _ to go,” she makes sure of marking her words. “But I'm willing to make the sacrifice if you go with me.”

Karolina widens her eyes as she considers what Nico just said. Is it a proposition? A romantic proposition? Karolina has been panicking about her feelings towards Nico for months now, always in doubt of them being reciprocated.

“Are you asking me to go to the dance with you?”

“We both don't have dates, so I figured, we can go as friends.”

Karolina tries not to deflate — at least not visibly.

“Oh. Sure,” she says, hoping her voice isn't too strained. “Sounds fun.”

.

.

.

“Frank?” She calls out. Seconds later, he is entering the room. “Would you come here and sit with me?”

She sees he is hesitant. She is too busy pushing down every instinct in her heart that tells her this is a terrible idea to care. She has to do this. She owes it to him after years of living in a lie. She thinks she might even owe it to herself. 

“Okay,” he says, sitting down in the seat in front of her.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I haven't been fair to you,” she inhales, locking eyes with him for a second before avoiding his gaze again.

“What do you mean?”

“You deserve to be happy,” she states, and that, she is sure of. She has spent so long resenting him for things beyond his reach that she almost forgot about it. Everything has become clearer now that she's had time to think. “And I’ve been holding you back from that. I can't give you what you want, not anymore. I feel like being together has only made you unhappy, and you don't deserve that, Frank.”

They barely even talk anymore. She's become snappy toward Frank and she doesn't like it. He doesn't deserve that from her. Just because she is angry it doesn't mean she gets to take it out on him. She's been doing that for far too long. 

“What? No!” He holds her hands on his lap, voice soft. “No, no. That's not true. On the contrary, it's you —and Karolina— what keeps me sane. Our family.”

Leslie closes her eyes and takes in a shaky breath. “I had an affair,” she confesses. It doesn't take long before she feels her hands cold again. She looks at Frank again, a pained look in her face.

He stays silent for a moment, surely processing what she just said, before he asks, “For how long?”

“A few months,” she swallows. “It's over now.”

“Who is he?”

“She,” Leslie corrects thoughtlessly, licking her lips. She notices his look of shock. “But that isn't relevant.”

“Isn’t it?”

“It made me realize,” she cuts him off, sensing he might raise his voice, “that we weren't- aren't happy.”

“I would think that if you were cheating on me,” he mutters, and yes, maybe she had that one coming. “Did you even care about me? At all?” He says demandingly, though she hears the plea underneath.

“Of course I care!” She reassured him. “You are my husband, you are important to me.”

“So you are just saying that I'm not important enough.” She doesn't give him a response.

Leslie can sense the turmoil in his eyes, the tension in his shoulders that he keeps carrying as he stands up and all the way out of the house. Her lips turn downwards as she flinches when the door is slammed shut.

.

.

.

Tina looks down to her watch and sighs. Leslie is never as late as she is today. Everybody is impatient, though the meeting had began anyway. 

“Where is she?” Geoffrey asks her, tense.

“What would I know?” She can't help but answer defensively.

“Can't you message her?”

She tenses at the mere idea. She knows why he assumed she would. They all know she and Leslie are closer with each other than they are with the others, or they were, at least. But there is no way in hell she is contacting Leslie. She could think of other fifteen unpleasant things she would prefer to do over that.

“You are a big boy, you can do it yourself,” she snarks at him, and he barely conceals his sneer before he takes out his phone.

Tina doesn't take a peek at the chat, and she's proud of herself for it. When Geoffrey looks back up, he tells the entire group the news.

“Leslie isn't coming,” he announces. “She says she had a family emergency.”

The biggest frown takes over Tina's face.


	9. Chapter 9

There is only one word that can describe how Leslie is feeling right now. Overwhelmed. Nothing else fits. She has some idea of what emotions are causing it, but knows no name for them. She did something stupid. She skipped a Pride meeting so close to the start of the community school building and she doesn't even know why.

Maybe it was Frank, maybe it was Tina, maybe it was herself. All she is certain about is that she is tired of everything.

She tries to roll her eyes and tell herself to get over it. It has been weeks since the meeting actually occurred. She just can't stop worrying about it. She never does that, skipping responsibilities, always takes them to seriously to even consider it. What if Pride comments on it? Are they mad at her? Does Tina hate her, for being a coward? 

Somehow, that thought brings her great anguish. The mere idea of Tina hating her makes want to puke her guts out. And she does.

She runs to the bathroom and kneels to the toilet, feeling the acid, disgusting flavor on the back of her throat and then her mouth. She ponders for a second, regrettably, that if Frank were still home he would have come to her immediately, holding her hair and helping her get up before asking if she was okay and make her a cup of tea. Instead Leslie stays with her head hanging over the toilet seat, feeling exhausted. She turns around and sits on the floor, head against the wall. The cool feeling of the tiles pressed to her nude thighs is the most relief she's had in months.

She hears soft footsteps getting louder on the other side of the bathroom door. Leslie attempts to pick herself up but realizes she doesn't have the energy to. She surrenders to it and just in time to sense a knock on the door.

“Mom?” Karolina's voice reaches her ears, shy as if she was only five and wanted to ask her something she surely would say not to. “I heard you from my room. Are you okay?”

She closes her eyes. “It's just a stomach bug, it'll pass.”

“But,” Leslie can sense the protest in her tone, “it's been almost a week and you are still sick. Shouldn't you go to the doctor and get checked out?”

“Don't worry about it, sweetie. I'm fine. I'm always better later.”

“Okay,” Karolina says, clearly unsure, but knows better than to push her. “Do you want me to bring you a glass of water?”

“Please,” she says. Her throat feels like sandpaper, with a never ending taste of bile she can't wait to wash off. She could stand up and drink from the tap, but her limbs are unwilling to cooperate. 

Karolina walks away from the door, and she hears her a minute later when she comes back. When she gets in the bathroom, Leslie opens her eyelids to find her daughter watching her with a worrisome expression.

“Are you sure you are okay?”

“Do I look that bad?” She tries to joke, but it comes out flat. She extends her hand for Karolina to give her the water and drinks it so quickly that when she finishes it she still feels thirsty. “Thanks, sweetie.”

She supports herself with a hand on the wall to stand up and soon finds that was a mistake when she feels dizzy. She presses her eyes shut, praying to whatever God is supposed to be in the sky not to vomit again. 

“Mom?”

“I’m okay, I'm okay,” Leslie reassures her, putting a good face and standing on her two feet without help. She needs to brush her teeth, she thinks with a grimace.

She still has to go by the community school building to check on its progress and her security. The church might not exist anymore but she is still paying for the guards. Last time she let them act on their own they almost got someone shot.

Karolina leaves her alone and she goes back to her bedroom to get dressed. When she goes down to the kitchen to drink her morning coffee, she is surprised to find Karolina with a nervous smile on her face and a backpack hanging from her shoulder.

“Are you going somewhere?” Leslie asks. The corners of her lips curl into a interested, yet confused, smile.

“To Nico's. Maybe we'll take a walk or something.”

“Okay. Have fun!”

The easiness to which her mom accepts Karolina having a life of her own is still the most mind-blowing experience she's ever had. Sometimes she imagines she is kidding with her. She isn't. Karolina is actually free. She steps outside and breathes in the fresh air. She winces when she dares to imagine her mother's reaction if she gets caught doing what she and Nico are about to do. 

.

.

.

Nico sits next to Karolina, waiting for their parents to come pick them up. She's been using the last half hour to think, and maybe trying to glue all of the school doors wasn't her greatest idea. Her mom is going to kill her. To be fair, though, she wasn't expecting to get arrested.

“Sorry,” she tells Karolina, “for dragging you into this.”

“It was my idea, too,” she replies. Nico is surprised by how little worried she is about their situation.

An officer walks to them and unlocks the door. “Your mothers came to take you home.”

Karolina gulps next to her, finally looking like she'd prefer to stay right where she is. They follow the man until they meet with their mothers. Nico looks away from Tina's deathly glare. She is so screwed.

“What were you thinking?!” Leslie snaps first.

“Of all the stupid, reckless things… gluing the school's locks, Nico? Seriously?” Her mom takes a hand to her forehead in exasperation. 

“We can explain,” Karolina tells them. Nico doesn't shake her head and tells her to stay silent but she wants to.

“Can you?” Leslie replies.

She shuts up.

“We'll continue this conversation at home,” Tina says. Nico bites her lip and looks up to her mom. Her eyes aren't on her, though. Tina is —there's not other way Nico can describe it—  _ gazing _ at Leslie, while the other woman is pointedly avoiding her stare. Nico frowns, a bit flabbergasted. Her mom clears her throat, redirecting her gaze at her daughter again. “Let’s go.”

She exchanges a final glance with Karolina on her way out.

.

.

.

“It's just a kids prank,” Robert had dismissed when she told him what happened with Nico. As if she hadn't been in a police station and barely left off the hook. As if that "prank" wasn't also called vandalism.

Robert can go fuck himself. It's Tina's week with Nico and she would put Nico whatever punishment she deemed fit. Nico is allowed to go with her to tonight's meeting and meet with the other kids but after that she will only leave the house to school and nothing else 

She knocks the door, keeping her cool, and Catherine opens it, all polite smiles and distance. Tina likes that she doesn't try to be overly friendly with her, doesn't get offended at Tina's coldness.

“Tina. Hi, Nico. The others are in the back,” she informs her as if Nico doesn't already know. 

She nods and goes there. Tina walks pass Catherine towards the living room, taking a glass of champagne from the table and wrinkling her nose at Stacey's brie. Tina looks around and sees Catherine talking with Janet and Victor being far nicer than before his 'accident.’ She lies eyes on Robert for a second, then looks away as if he is nobody and she stays still on her place, a bit isolated from the others.

Leslie isn't there yet. She wonders if she'll come this time.

She takes a healthy gulp of champagne, Tina hadn't realized how little connection she has with Pride minus Robert and Leslie. Dale is chatting with Robert, and Tina can't help but smirk at the annoyed look on her ex-husband's face. It gets to the point where she gives up on waiting for Leslie to arrive. She does something stupid, she will admit later.

She takes a step forward, clears her throat to get everyone's attention. It works. Everyone's eyes are on her solely, waiting for her to speak up. She wonders if it's really her place to say this. She doesn't care. Leslie should have come and tell them herself, but you can only drag this out for so long and Tina is tired of it all.

“In the light of a new development, I feel obliged to inform you all, in Leslie's place, some news,” she takes a drink. “Honestly, I would've thought Leslie had more common sense than to delay this any longer. It's been weeks,” she scoffs, not paying attention to Pride's confusion.

“Weeks since what?”

“She shut the church down.”

“Leslie did what?” Geoffrey Wilder says.

“What do you mean by 'she shut the church down'?” Says Victor. “And how it's that  _ you _ know?”

“I told her,” a third voice, one that nobody expected, intercepts with a cold edge in it. 

Tina looks up to see… “Leslie?” She inhales sharply, staring at Leslie's face blankly.

“I was under the impression she could be trusted. I was mistaken, as it seems.”

“I didn't think you'd come,” Tina says, and her voice is anything but apologetic.

The blonde turns to her and rubs her hands together, a motion Tina has learned she does while nervous. 

“I wasn't planning for you to find out like this,” she says, turning back to Pride and folding her arms over her chest, “but yes, I closed the church.”

“Why?” Geoffrey asks.

“It is time for me to continue my life throughout a different path, and that's no longer in the Church of Gibborim,” she announces, raising her chin as if preaching to her church.

Tina scoffs, loudly. Everybody's gaze is on her, and she looks around in silence before forcing an ironic laugh.

“Come on, you can't possibly believe the crap that came out of her mouth,” she insists to Pride, gesturing Leslie with one hand.

“Now it isn't the time, Tina,” Leslie warns her. 

“When is it, then?” Tina says, a defiant glint in her eyes. “You won't talk to me. You isolated yourself completely from Pride.”

The “from me” is left unsaid, but very much present for both of them, and it's confirmed when Leslie takes a step back, imperceptible for anyone but Tina, looking like a caged animal.

“Where is this coming from? I thought we were fine.”

Tina has no restrictions on advancing towards Leslie, almost hearing the tiny gulp that ran throughout her throat. It's a terrible idea, doing this dance of them right in front of the others, but Tina has missed this and is desperate.

“Not even you believe that,” she says, then shakes her head. “I didn't thought you'd come,” Leslie gives her a begging look, “but I hoped for it.”

“Can you  _ please _ not do this here?” Leslie scolds her.

Tina just raises an eyebrow, and then she yelps. She's being dragged out of the room.

Everybody else frowns at them.

“What the hell just happened?” Geoffrey says.

“It seems your wife has been hiding things from you,” Victor tells Robert.

“Ex-wife,” he corrects him absently.

.

.

.

She hauls Tina until they are in the Wilder's office, fire gleaming in her eyes like it has been doing too often. She isn't angry, no, she's furious. Tina jeopardized her marriage, and was about to throw away the months of secrecy and constant fear of being caught with no more than a few seconds of bad temper for something that doesn't exist anymore.

“Have you completely lost you mind?” Leslie hissed.

Tina shrugs nonchalant, clearly satisfied with herself. “Maybe. I like it when you do that.”

“Do what?” She snaps.

“Look like you want to kill me. It's endearing.” 

“Oh, believe me, I do much more than just  _ look _ like it,” Leslie fumes.

Tina rolls her eyes, refusing to let Leslie's words affect her. “We can talk now, can't we?”

“You want to talk? Fine! Talk,” she growls.

That is a sound capable of turning Tina's stomach outside down, in a good way. She focuses on what she was demanded instead. Nonetheless, Tina doesn't have a plan nor something to discuss. Every fighting word she had on the living room dissipated the moment she stepped into the office. Her mind is blank.

“So?”

Instead of answering, Tina steps forward and grabs the front of Leslie's blouse with one fist, tugging her into a hard, closed-mouth kiss that steals the breath from Leslie's body. Leslie freezes. She should stop this, she is the one who broke up with Tina, after all. She doesn't, though. She leans into Tina's lips, her hands landing to her hips before she's backed up to the wall.

She sighs and kisses Tina harder. Tina's arms wrap around her neck, bringing her closer even when there's little to none space between them. They kiss for a full minute before Leslie remembers where they are and who is waiting for them back in the living room. When she does, she stumbles away from her with a gasp. Tina is out of breath, staring at her like her world was just coming back together before it started falling apart again.

Leslie stretches and smoothes her fingers while taking a deep breath. Tina looks down at the action, then up back to her eyes.

“What…” she starts to ask and pauses to clear her throat. “What do you want?”

Tina reaches to touch her tingling lips, not giving an answer. Leslie can tell, it's in her eyes like something floating beneath the surface of an ocean. Tina shakes her head.

“Do you want to forget this happened?”

Leslie blinks. “No.” She sees Tina's eyes lighting up, but restrained by an understandable sense of fear. “Do you… want to come home with me?”

“Yes,” Tina breathes out. 

Leslie hadn't known how much she wanted to hear that word but, now that is happening, her heart is thrumming like she just ran a marathon, fireworks dancing around her lower abdomen. Even if she had said she wanted to forget it all, Leslie knows she wouldn't be able to stay away after that mind-blowing kiss.

They have always kissed with passion. Kissed with rage. Kissed where the sun couldn't reach or especially where it could. Kissed with raw, animalistic lust. Kissed in the most forbidden and unthinkable settings. Kissed with bitterness. Kissed in hope that each other's lips would sweeten the bad taste away.

Nevertheless, Leslie had never felt that powerful emotion, that rush straightening her limbs she knows it's only caused by Tina and no one else. Before, Leslie had never kissed her with devotion. Never had blood thumping in her ears and sparks tickling the sole of her feet, or lips tingling with the ghost of Tina's pressed against them.

She sighs and looks at Tina through her lashes. She's smiling softly, blinking at Leslie's face like she's trying to take a mental picture of every single part of it. Leslie can't help but smile back.

“Let's go home,” Tina repeats. “Please.”

Leslie lifts her hand and squeezes Tina's, her thumb caressing the back of it before she lets her go. 

“Okay,” she says delicately. “Let's join the others. Once the toast is over we can figure out an excuse and leave.”

Tina bobs her head, and Leslie turns around ready to walk back to the living room, only to be stopped by Tina's hand grasping her wrist.

“Wait. What about Frank?”

“We are separated,” she tells her. Tina's eyes widen. “What about your husband, won't he find suspicious that you're leaving earlier without him?”

“Don't you know?” Tina blinks. “Robert and I got a divorce.”

Leslie stares at her open-mouthed.

“What?”

“I'm divorced.”

“You…” She shakes her head, so subtle it must have been unconsciously. Her lips quirk as she lets her breath go. “You are?” 

She keeps gaping at Tina, a bemused smile on her lips, before pressing her mouth shut and moving forward to kiss Tina fiercely on the lips. Tina figures everything is alright. Everything is more than alright; she is kissing Leslie Dean, for Christ's sake, and this time she's sure, there's no hesitation that it means something. Neither of them is ignoring it anymore.

Leslie is embracing her like her life depends on it. Tina doesn't mind. She is drowning on the smell of her hair and the taste of her tongue. Her fingers dig into the blonde hair and cups Leslie's temple. Leslie hums against her lips when she starts to caress her head with her thumb.

They should go back. They are probably wondering what's taking them so long. Pride might even be on their way over. Tina is not particularly concerned about it at the moment. She drifts away from the kiss, breathless. She stares at Leslie's slightly bruised lips before locking eyes.

“Nico could stay with Robert tonight,” she thinks aloud.

“And maybe I could let Karolina have a sleepover,” Leslie smiles at her.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Leslie's cheeks are beautifully flushed and her smile is lighting up the room. Leslie leans and drops a kiss on her cheek before holding Tina's hand on their way out.


	10. Chapter 10

Tina cares about her. She would've never imagined, wouldn't have dared to. She  _ wants  _ her. Makes her heart flutter with the simplest of touches. She remembers why she broke up with Tina in the first place. She had allowed herself to believe that what they had was more than sex. Turns out she was right all along. What they have is real.

Both of them are aware, she's sure. Or that's what Tina's eyes continue to tell her when they soften ever so slightly with every kiss Leslie places on her neck and down her abdomen. That's the message she receives from the way Tina caresses her hair as she puts it out of her face when Leslie positions herself between her legs. She can't help but beam before she focuses on her more pressing task. 

Tina's legs hook around her head and her fingers dig into her skull, pushing Leslie closer, as her moans echo on the room. She sucks her clit as Tina grows more desperate and her breath agitates. 

“God, Leslie,” she moans loudly. It inflates her ego a little. She introduces a finger inside of her as she continues her movements. She adds a second and starts moving them in and out of her slowly until Tina's inner walls shake. She curves her fingers.

Then she feels her stiffening beneath her, getting silent before she exhales, her body relaxing and turning limp.

Leslie licks her lips and gets out from between Tina's thighs. She crawls to Tina's side, observing her covering her eyes with a hand as she catches her breath. She notices her eyeing her with one eye while parting her fingers, then huffs out air.

“What?” Leslie asks, resting on her side, and lets an arm fall to the woman's moving stomach.

“You're trying to kill me?” Tina says. She frowns. “I think I saw the light for a minute.”

Leslie smacks her arm, scoffing. “Really?” Tina's eyes wander to her face, a smile frozen on her lips. It unsettles Leslie that she can't recognize that look on Tina's face. “What?”

As an answer, Tina supports herself on her elbows and manages to raise a leg to attach it to Leslie's hips, pulling her down until she is on top of her. Leslie laughs freely and hugs her neck as they lock lips. 

“This was your plan all along, huh?”

“Well, you  _ are  _ the hottest person I've ever known,” Tina smiles cockily.

Leslie rolls her eyes, but she's grinning at Tina with delight. She wastes no time in kissing her back, deepening it, her tongue stroking Tina's giving her chills down her spine. A hand is making its way between her legs, and Leslie can't help but smirk against Tina's lips as she spreads them wider for her.

But Tina only cups her over her underwear and — she'll deny it later — Leslie pouts at her. The woman kisses it away, and directs her other hand towards one of her breasts. She palms it, and Leslie moans appreciatively against her lips. Leslie closes her eyes, giving in to the feeling of Tina's thumb rolling her nipple and pinching it. Then she hisses. Tina looks up.

“You okay?”

“Yes. They are just more sensitive lately.”

“What do you want?” Tina says.

Leslie drags her back to her lips. “Don't stop,” she says between kisses.

Tina gives one final squeeze to her breast, making Leslie gasp, before abandoning the zone completely and gripping Leslie's hips with both hands, thumbs caressing her stomach. Tina leaves her mouth to kiss her way through her jaw to her earlobe. She nips it, and Leslie holds onto Tina stronger.

“You have such a beautiful skin, did you know that?” Tina whispers, tightening her grip to Leslie's hips ever so slightly. “So soft,” she leaves a kiss on the spot under her ear, “so exquisite.”

“Tina…” Leslie's voice is charged with warning.

She pulls Leslie's panties down her legs, dropping them somewhere on the bedroom floor. Leslie seeks her mouth as she feels fingers tracing her entrance slowly. She's more than ready to forget her own name if that means she'll get to scream Tina's. And she does.

.

.

.

When Karolina wakes up that morning, she lets out a groan. She has to go home before it's late, and once she arrives she'll begin to be grounded for the next month. She is not even allowed to go to the dance. She's surprised her mom suggested she could stay at Nico's dad's home for the night, just like Nico is astonished her mom gave up one of her nights and send her with her dad. It's bizarre.

She drags herself out of the bed she shared with Nico the night before and puts on clothes before checking the time. She taps Nico's shoulder, then shakes it when the girl doesn't even stir.

“What?” Nico drawls, half-asleep.

“I gotta go,” she tells her.

It seems to awaken her a bit. “Why?”

“If I get home too late my mom is gonna ground me for life.”

“She let you sleep over, didn't she?”

“I still don't get why.”

“Don't overthink it, just be thankful. It might be the last time we'll ever see each other.”

“Okay, drama queen,” Karolina's lips curve upward. “I'm going now.”

“Fine. Bye, Karo.”

“Goodbye,” she says, voice warm, before going out. She has to walk home. She could ask Robert for a ride but she thinks she wants to take one last hike. It's 7 am and she feels a cool spring breeze against her cheeks. By the time she gets home, it's almost 8 and warmer, though still not enough bother. 

She is about to unlock the door and make her way inside when it opens itself. She wonders what her mom is doing outside so early until every thought in her brain is erased by the sight of Tina Minoru leaving her house. She is gaping at her just as Tina stops on her tracks, eyes widening.

The woman opens her mouth, probably to make an excuse, but not a word comes out of her mouth. It must be the first time Karolina has seen her speechless. She doesn't blame her, she is feeling pretty much the same thing. Tina closes her mouth again. She is blushing profusely like Karolina has never seen before she looks down and walks past her on her way to the street. Karolina can't help but stare, lips still parted and eyes popped out, as the woman enters her car and drives away.

What. The. Hell.

Karolina is not kidding herself believing Tina was in her home on Pride matters. She is not naive. The woman wouldn't have flushed like she did if that was the case, she wouldn't have been in her home that early either. In fact, Karolina thinks, it makes so much sense of Karolina being allowed to hang out with Nico. Her mom wanted the house alone. For a booty call.

She blushes at the thought. “Oh. My. God,” she mouths to herself, and repeats those words over and over again on her mind. “Holy shit. Oh my God. She- Holy shit,” she mumbles.

“Karolina,” her mom frowns at her, finding her staring at the inside of the house from the entrance. “You know what I think about you swearing,” she chastises her.

Karolina doesn't hear her words, only staring at her mom with a horrified look on her face. “Mom, what the fuck.”

Leslie is bewildered. “Karolina!”

“I saw Tina leaving the house!” She shoots her an alarmed look. Leslie is left silent. “Want to explain that one to me?”

“Let's talk inside,” her mom says, hands shaking.

Karolina doesn't argue as she follows her inside. They sit down on the dining room, right across each other. Leslie is tapping her nails in the wood of the table. Karolina keeps her gaze on her mom as she waits for her to speak.

“So?” She says.

Her mom puts her hands together and takes in a deep breath. “I didn't want you to find out like this.”

“Find out what?” Karolina really doesn't want it to be what she thinks it is. That would mean everything she know about her mom is a lie. That who she thinks her mom is it's an illusion, like everything that seems to surround her mom is.

“Tina and I-” she looks upward, like she can't believe what she is about to say. “We- We are together.

“She's your girlfriend?” Karolina raises her brows, surprised. That would actually make things so much easier for Karolina.

But Leslie wrinkles her nose at the term. “No, not really. She-,” she shakes her head. “No, she is not my girlfriend.”

“Then what-?”

“I’m not certain, yet,” Leslie says honestly. 

“I don't understand. You are dating?” She asks.

“I don't think so,” she replies, very uncertain with herself. “Maybe?”

“I don't get it.”

“We-” she blushes deeply. Karolina's eyes pop open.

“You are sex buddies.” She can't believe she's saying that to her mom.

Leslie closes her eyes before looking back at her. “You understand I can't talk to you about some issues, don't you?” She asks her, and Karolina pauses for a second before nodding. “This, is one of those things.”

“Why?” She tilts her head.

“There are things I've done, things that I'm ashamed of,” her mom tells her, and she can hear it in her voice, how uncomfortable she is, but she needs to know. She wants everyone to stop treating her like a child.

“What could you be ashamed of?” She furrows her brows.

“The nature…of my relationship with Tina,” she mutters, head hanging low. And Karolina truly doesn't understand a thing but this conversation with her mother feels like pulling teeth.

“Is that why you and Dad are apart?” 

“It's part of it.”

“Were you with her while you and Dad were still together?”

Leslie doesn't answer. She doesn't need one, anyway. The way her mom turns red and looks down is enough. It devastates her. She is supposed to be one of the good ones. She would have never thought it possible. She loved her dad, Karolina has seen it. How could somebody fake something like that? And if she didn't, how could she betray somebody she loves? She doesn't want to know. 

She stands up and starts leaving.

“Wait, Karolina.”

“No, I don't wanna talk to you right now.”

“Wait, you can't tell Nico,” her mom says, desperately. 

It makes her turn around and snap, “why?”

“It's not your place,” she tells her, which only angers her more. “Nor mine. It's Tina's. Please, don't take that from her.”

And now she is just confused. Does her mom actually care about Tina? Or is that just her trying to be honorable? Karolina decides her head hurts too much to ponder on it. She nods before she walks away to her room. She doesn't think she can't keep this secret from Nico for too long, so Tina better hurry and tell her.

.

.

.

Leslie dials Tina's number while feeling on the edge of a panic attack. She doesn't pick up. Tina must be driving, she remembers. This can't wait. She leaves a text message.

“Karolina knows,” it reads.

She starts tapping her feet on the floor. She doesn't an answer immediately, but she keeps staring at the phone until it lights up. She picks it up.

“Shit,” it's Tina's answer. Cursing is not very likely of Tina. She can't blame her, though.

“Indeed.”


	11. Chapter 11

When Nico is about to fall asleep, the last thing she expects is to hear a sudden thump on her window. She bites back a yawn, pulling the covers up, and frowns all the way to the window. She swears, if some creep is trying to break in, she will take her lamp and smash it against their face.

Her frown deepens when she moves the drapes and sees Karolina waving awkwardly at her. She lets her in immediately.

“What are you doing here?” She asks her. Karolina ducks her head to pass inside. Nico notices she's shivering. “It's past midnight.”

“I needed to get away from home,” she explains. “I was feeling trapped.”

“Yeah, that's kinda the point of being grounded. What happened?”

“I got into a fight with my mom,“ Karolina looks away and walks past Nico to sit on her bed.

“Okay…” Nico joins her, puts a hand on her arm. “Wanna talk about it?”

Karolina is tense as she stays silent until she cracks, and all the thoughts flow out.

“She's such a hypocrite. Always telling me what I can or can't do. Everything is black and white with her,” Karolina shakes her head, clearly upset. “And it turns out it's all lies. All she does is lie! She keeps treating me like I'm this child that has to be coddled and keep things from, and I'm done with it. And the worst part is-!” She quiets herself, looking like she almost says too much, and shakes her head in frustration.

Nico rubs her arm soothingly. Karolina relaxes slightly, and eyes Nico. The confidence with which she entered her room like it was her own seems to have vanished.

“Is it okay if I stay here?” Karolina asks her, doe-eyed and with small voice that breaks Nico's heart. “Just for a while. Then I'll leave, I promise.”

And Nico? She knows better than anyone what it is like to want to run as far away from her parents as possible. Even if she didn't, there is no way she could ever reject Karolina, she thinks, staring back at those sad eyes.

“You can stay for as long as you need,” she squeezes her arm. Karolina beams at her (as much as she can muster, anyway) and moves closer to her, resting her head on Nico's shoulder.

She wishes Karolina could stay forever but it's not possible. She will leave eventually, probably get grounded for much longer than originally (she thinks it's likely that Karolina won't go out until she's 40). But now, Nico wants to live in the moment, with Karolina on her side, fingers playing with Nico's dark locks of hair.

“Do you regret it?” Nico says suddenly. “Glueing the school's locks?”

Karolina lets out a snort. “It was really stupid. But believe it or not, I don't regret a thing.”

“Why?”

“It was fun,” she starts, unconvincingly. Then she looks at Nico and admits. “And we did it together.”

“That's it?” Nico lifts a brow, unimpressed.

“What? Isn't it enough? It's a good memory, one we created together,” she says. Nico is not sure what she should say, or if Karolina is just kidding with her. Karolina is lost in thought for a moment. “I just want to keep making more memories with you.”

Nico sees her hesitating, just for half a second, before Karolina leans forward and gives her a soft kiss on the lips. Nico's brain short-circuited. She needs a moment to process what is happening. Karolina is about to drift away when Nico puts a hand on the back of her neck and locks their lips more firmly.

There's a distant thought in the back of her head telling her to hit herself because, why hasn't she done this before? She ignores it in favor of the more pressing one that screams at her to keep kissing Karolina, to never stop drowning in the smell of her hair and the taste of her lips, because it all sounds too good to resist. And it is. Karolina gives her lower lip a small lick and draws away.

“I've wanted to do that for so long,” Karolina tells her, smiling, and Nico just blinks at her. She tries to hold one thought together long enough for her to make sense of it.

The door opens suddenly. Nico looks to the doorway, conscious enough to put her hands off Karolina but not to move away from her. Her mom stares back at them.

After a few seconds in silence, probably deciding what to do with what she has found, Tina says, “I'm calling Leslie.” And with that, she turns around and walks off.

Karolina sighs in resignation.

.

.

.

When Leslie gets Tina's call, she's halfway through a panic attack. There's nothing more scary than realizing your child has disappeared and you have absolutely no idea where she could be. She knows, logically, that Karolina's disappearance probably has something to do with their discussion earlier. But her mom brain can't help but think, is she okay? Has something happened to her? Is she still alive? 

She goes through a thousand terrible but completely possible possibilities until driving herself insane.

Thankfully, Tina calls her before she has the chance to phone Frank. She thanks her before hanging up and drives to Tina's home. Then she thanks her again, and embraces her. Tina is so caught off guard that she leaves her arms hanging in the air for a moment.

“Is this about… us?” Tina asks her when she lets go of her. 

“I don't know,” Leslie replies honestly. She's never seen her daughter as someone who gets upset about their parents' dating (if it can be called dating), and she doubts it has anything to do with it. “I think she doesn't like the secrecy.”

“She is in Nico's room,” Tina tells her, pointing the way. Leslie moves right away.

When she opens the door, she gets Karolina's hard look and sighs. Her daughter doesn't put much of a fight and says goodbye to Nico, like she wasn't expecting to stay there too long anyway. She remains silent the entire ride back home. She supposes she deserves that.

“I was worried about you,” she tells her, eyes never leaving the road. Karolina doesn't answer. “I know you are mad at me, and I guess you have a right to feel the way you do, but don't do that to me again.”

“Haven't you thought,” Karolina says at last, voice wavering slightly, “that it's not about you? That I just needed to go away for awhile, after everything?”

Leslie doesn't reply to that. She doesn't add more days to her punishment neither. Karolina barely talks to her for the rest of the week.

.

.

.

It is a sad Monday morning. Rain is poured through the branches of the trees and soaks the leaves, water falls down the windows, and the cold wind makes sleeping bodies shiver. That, of course, doesn't discourage Tina and Leslie at all, if the way they hold onto each other like their lives depend on it is anything to go by. Leslie has stolen the blankets and, some time in the middle of the night, Tina had given up on taking them back and accepted her fate snuggling the other woman to not freeze to death. Along the way, Leslie disregarded the blankets too, kicking them to the floor in her sleep.

As Tina blinks out of sleep, she takes notice of her surroundings, especially a certain mess of blonde curls that is all over her face. She unconsciously inhales the scent of Leslie's shampoo. Her hand hikes up from Leslie's hip to her hair, pushing it away from her face and kissing her cheek. Leslie hums and her lips quirk as she senses who's at her side. Her heart races when light eyes open and a sleepy smile forms in the blonde's face.

“It's cold,” Leslie mumbles.

“Your fault entirely,” she says. “It's freezing outside and you move too much in your sleep.”

Something akin to a chuckle comes out of Leslie's lips. “Sorry.”

“You look happy,” Tina comments.

Leslie opens her mouth to answer, but closes it. The sleepiness is gone from her features. She turns green and flees from bed and towards the bathroom. Tina runs quickly after her, finding her kneeled to the toilet, puking her guts out. She steps inside and closes the door without a second thought, and holds blonde hair to keep it out of Leslie's face as she throws up.

Once she's done, Tina hands her a glass of water and her toothbrush. “You okay?”

“Yes, thank you,” Leslie says, gulping down the water. “It's probably just something I ate.”

“Okay.”

“Mom?” The women's eyes widen when they hear Karolina's voice. “Are you sick again?”

Tina shoots her a lifted eyebrow. “Again?” She mouths to her. Leslie shrugs.

“Don’t worry, honey,” she says, which is beginning to sound false with every time she repeats it. “I'm okay.”

“You don't sound okay,” Karolina replies. She sighs. “I gotta go, I'm late for school.”

“Do you want Tina to give you a ride?”

Tina turns to her bewildered. Leslie gives her a half-smile and a shrug. 

“Tina is here?”

“Yes. Hello, Karolina,” Tina speaks up, awkwardly.

“I think I want to walk today, thanks,” the girl says before walking away.

“Why did you say that?” Tina gives her a glare.

“She already knows about us, what's the point of hiding it? It'll only make her hate me more,” she says, voice filled with self-deprecation.

Tina chooses not to comment on it as Leslie begins to frantically brush her teeth. It's been a week since they got back together, and a week since Karolina found out the truth. She almost wants Karolina to tell Nico so she doesn't have to, but she knows that'll only worsen the situation.

.

.

.

Tina has gone to work, and Leslie finally finds herself alone in her house. She's alone with her thoughts, with her worries. All those issues she's been avoiding (actually, just the one) are all coming back. She keeps telling Karolina her sickness will pass, like she hasn't been through this before 18 years ago. Leslie has a feeling about what is wrong with her and she's not sure she likes it.

She could be pregnant. Her stomach turns upside down at the mere thought, though it could just be morning sickness.

She thinks of the possibilities. Of being a mother again, at her age. She didn't even think it was possible for her to become pregnant now. Would she be a single mother? She loathes the mere idea of it, having always been trapped in the box of the socially acceptable. The kid would need a father figure, she thinks, but Frank wouldn't disappoint in that matter, as he is known to be a good father. At least, she expects it. 

She thinks of the implications. She is sort of dating Tina, so she believes that if she were to be expecting, she would have to tell her. Leslie wonders how would that affect their relationship, if a relationship would even remain. Not everyone is enthusiastic about dating a woman pregnant with another man's child.

She shakes those thoughts away. She might not even be pregnant and she's just losing her mind for nothing.

Leslie looks down to the little box over the counter. There is only one way to find out.

.

.

.

Finally back from the office, Tina kicks off her heels and gently pushed them aside as soon as the front door is closed. She walks to the living room and finds Nico is there, eating a sandwich. She's been going through this moment in her mind over and over again all day. She has to tell her, there's no point in lying to her. She's come to the conclusion there's only one way. Firm voice with not-up-to-discussion attitude. The Minoru specialty.

“Nico,” she gets her attention. “I have a girlfriend.”

Nico stops mid-bite before she slowly starts to chew her toast again. “Okay,” she says, looking like she has so many questions but isn't sure if she wants to know. “Will I meet her?”

“You've already met her. It's Leslie,” Tina sounds so damn casual about the whole thing and Nico just can't keep her mouth closed.

“I'm- Okay.”

“Any questions?”

“Yeah,” she nods, then pauses and a frown sets in her brows. “But I'm not sure what to ask... Let's just never talk about it.”

“Alright,” Tina turns around to find Nico typing something on her phone. She frowns. “If that's what you want…”

That was easier than she thought.

“Wait…” Nico looks up at Tina, eyes narrowed. “You told Karolina first?”

How does she know? Oh, Tina thinks, Nico sent Karolina a message.

“It was an accident, she-” she shakes her head. “I'm not doing this. Ask her.”

“I can't go out, remember?” She says with a bit of snark.

“You have phone, don't you? I swear to God, your generation sometimes…” she trails off, shaking her head exasperatedly as she walks away.

On her way to her office, her phone buzzes with a message from Leslie. ‘Can you meet tonight? I need to talk to you.’

Tina looks at Nico. Her week with her just began. ‘Tonight's not good. What about tomorrow?’ She types.

‘Sure. Lunch?’

Tina considers that for a second. All they've done up till now is having sex. Lots of it. Maybe they also talk a little and have breakfast together, too, before Tina has to go. Would this be a date? It sounds like a date, except for Leslie's ‘I need to talk to you’ text.

Either way, the thought of a date with Leslie brings her a giddy feeling to her chest that she hasn't felt since she first started dating Robert.

‘Ok. See you tomorrow.’


	12. Chapter 12

Leslie is definitely pregnant. She's even had a doctor's appointment just to make sure the test wasn't mistaken. Oddly enough, Leslie finds herself serene now that she is certain of it. She has a living being growing inside of her. It is not the end of the world, she thinks. She's done parenting before, with and without Frank, and she isn't a lost girl in her twenties anymore, scared that she's been making all the wrong choices and aware that there was no going back.

Leslie still knows that: there's no going back. That brings her a sense of comfort nowadays. She can't change her past actions, and that means she's right where she is supposed to be. That can't possibly be wrong.

She has told Frank about the pregnancy, who keeps looking at her like her mere existence is the cause of all his torments. She can't blame him, as annoying as it may be. Though she was taken aback when he suggested they should get back together to raise the baby, almost laughed in his face. She didn't laugh, however, just rejected his proposal outright, telling him it was a bad idea (mostly because she is gay, thank you very much, and not to mention in a potential relationship with another woman)

Said woman is what is keeping her anxious. Not Frank, not the baby; Tina, the woman that could make grown men cry. Leslie was hoping to take her out on a date, maybe  _ talk _ for the first time since they met, and she is reasonably afraid that that won't be possible anymore. A newborn is a lot to put on someone's shoulders, even with zero participation in parenting. There are busy days and busy nights, future canceled plans, the baby daddy, crying, teething, dirty diapers, tantrums, a ton of other things that would push Tina right over the edge until she cracked and decided it was too much.

Well, Leslie ponders, at least they will be able to have that talk.

They meet at a restaurant of Tina's choice, as Leslie is too distracted to think of one quickly. Luckily, Tina doesn't notice or comment on how unfocused she is when speaking on the phone. Leslie doesn't want to cut their lunch short with her news and wouldn't like to start lying to the woman.

All of her past relationships were based on lies and manipulations and she's tired of it. She would like to have a normal relationship for once (ignoring the cheating and secrecy, of course). She just wants to do things right and hopes for the best.

It sounds silly to her own brain, but she's past the point of caring.

She spots Tina in one of the tables and waves at her like she's fifteen and with a crush. Tina looks amused and just nods at her, cool as ever. Leslie sits in the chair across her, breathing in deeply.

“So,” Tina drawls. “Did you get lost in your way here?”

Leslie widens her eyes. “Am I late?” She swears this time she didn't mean it.

“Five minutes. You are lucky you caught me in a forgiving mood,” Tina takes a sip from a glass of water.

Leslie lets out a chuckle. She doesn't particularly understand why Tina's gaze softens but she enjoys it anyway. Soon enough, a waiter arrives and they give him their orders. As he leaves, Leslie looks up at Tina.

“I just heard you are working on a new project with Janet Stein,” Leslie comments nonchalantly.

Tina raises her brows, not buying into her tone for a second. “So you figured it out.”

“Mhmm. What is it about?”

“Blood magic,” Tina says with a straight face. Leslie rolls her eyes, though fondly. “A weapon.”

“A weapon?” She frowns. “I wasn't aware that you were in the gun business.”

“Well,” Tina starts correcting her words with a bit of reluctance, “we are actually helping the government to develop a prototype. It'll revolution the gun industry and law enforcement.”

“You are working for the government?” Leslie lifts her eyebrows.

“Don't try and sound so surprised,” she purses her lips.

“Can you blame me?”

“They've been trying to develop one of these weapons in particular for decades, but as we know, the government screws up everything it touches. Thus, they handed it to the private sector,” Tina points to herself just a little smugly. “Nevertheless, I can't reveal much else. It's need to know.”

Leslie snorts. “How long have you been waiting to say that?”

“If I tell you, will you lose respect for me?”

Leslie shakes her head, her hand falling over Tina's across the table as a smile forms in her face. Tina can be such a nerd sometimes, even though she is great at hiding it from the common eye.

“Probably.”

They eat and they drink (only water for Leslie) and they chat. In other words, their date goes wonderful. Leslie barely remembers the last time she had one. (She recalls the constant pressure on her shoulders to make it work, to catch a man, to settle down and have a family. It was what was expected of her, and she knew her father would have wanted it for her. She recalls feeling like drowning.

Now Leslie also wants to make it work, but she feels free of expectations. She is not drowning, she is floating. There is no pressure, just yearning.)

She is having such a good time that what she actually called Tina for ends pushed into the back of her mind.

Tina gets a call. “I gotta take this,” she tells her, and Leslie might believe she sounds apologetic when she says it but that would be too fantastic.

“That's okay,” she shoots her a genuine smile, sipping water, and sees Tina's shoulders relax as she steps out to take the call.

The moment she goes out of the line of sight, it dawns on Leslie what she has been dragging out since she sat down with Tina. She has to tell her she is pregnant. The nervousness emerges from deep in her stomach once again, unpleasantly bubbly. 

The way she sees it, there is two likely outcomes from that conversation: a very good one, where Tina and her are together and their relationship blossoms until they reach the point of parenting the little kid together forming a TV show-worthy untraditional family; or a dreadful one, where the idea of her having somebody else's child while they are together freaks Tina out and she immediately leaves her for a much more gorgeous, younger, and not pregnant woman.

Okay, that might just be the hormones talking, but it's not out of the realm of extreme possibilities.

Tina is back from her call. She sits down and takes a glance at her. Leslie shoots her a closed-lips smile. That is enough for Tina to spot the change in her mood right away. She raises a brow at her.

“Is something the matter?”

“Yes, actually,” Leslie takes in a deep inhale and exhales it shakily. “I've had a wonderful time with you, Tina. I really have,” she assures her. “I don't even remember the last time I-” she shakes her head, deciding it is better to go straight to the point. Tina is starting to purse her lips. “But I wanted to meet you today because I have news. Big news.”

“Oh,” Tina wiggles her eyebrows at her. “Do tell?”

“I'm pregnant.”

If Tina had had a glass in her hands, we would have probably broken it.

“Excuse me?”

“I'm gonna have a baby.” 

Leslie tries her hardest to get a read on Tina's expression, but she finds it to be an impossible mission. It's the oddest thing for her, who is so used to understand exactly what is going through Tina's mind easily. Leslie knows Tina better than anyone, and not being able to anticipate the woman's response to something as important as this only worsens her nerves.

“That… is not possible,” she shakes her head. “How? Did you…?”

Leslie is witnessing Tina Minoru not quite succeeding at being eloquent for the first time, and she would be better at appreciating it weren't she so worried. It takes her a moment to realize what Tina is trying to ask her.

“No, no. I haven't been with anyone else while I was with you. It was before, when we had… broken up,” she cringes at the memory of that night.

“I'm assuming Frank's the father,” Tina says with a surprisingly calm voice.

“You assume correctly,” she nods. Neither of them says anything. Leslie keeps looking at Tina, hoping to catch some sort of reaction. “Don't you have anything to say?”

“Congratulations?” Tina rolls her shoulders gracefully. “I honestly don't know what are you expecting me to say. Why are you telling me this?”

“I thought you'd like to know,” she frowns. “Given our clear intention of pursuing a relationship.”

“What do you want from me?” Tina asks- No, demands. “If you are expecting me to be some sort of third parent to this child-”

“God, no!” Leslie cuts her off, eyes wide open as she shakes her head no repeatedly. “No, no, no. Nothing like that. I'm not about to push on to you something of this enormity.”

“Oh,” her shoulders shag down. Leslie is slightly relieved at seeing her more calm. 

“Is the pregnancy a deal-breaker to you?” Leslie can't help but ask, biting her lip. “Because I would understand if it was.” 

“I can handle it,” Tina tells her. “It takes a lot more to scare me off, Leslie.”

As it turns out, there is a secret third outcome for the conversation Tina and Leslie just had, and she can't be gladder.

.

.

.

Tina might or might not be having a panic attack since the second she stepped into her home. She has managed to sound so confident and self-assured in front of Leslie, and she's kept perfect serenity during meetings for the rest of the day, but the truth is that she has no idea what to feel.

Not that pregnancy is making her pause. Tina's had two of them, for Christ's sake! They both already have a child.

Another doubt comes to mind: what if Leslie wants to be with Frank to raise their child together? She shakes that thought away immediately. Leslie doesn't want Frank, she  _ knows  _ that. She would have to be losing her mind to choose somebody like Frank Dean over Tina.

She'll be there for Leslie, she decides, in any capacity she needs her to be. They've been through so much together; Tina doesn't think she could stay away even if she wanted. Leslie is stuck with her. (She lets out a chuckle. There is no way Leslie would ever hear her say such a corny cliche).

Her breathing begins to slow down as nicer thoughts run through her head. Then she notices her house is quiet. She supposes Nico is in her room, as usual. She walks there with the intention of saying hi and opens the door. She is left open-mouthed and regretting she ever touched that doorknob.

“Shit!” Nico jumps off from on top of Karolina and tries to cover herself up, but Tina is already slamming the door shut and walking away from there.

She doesn't think she'll ever go into Nico's bedroom again. She feels dizzy like all the blood has flowed out of her head. She didn't even know Karolina and Nico were together, but boy, that is one unpleasant way to find out.

Tina wonders if she'll have to give Nico the talk or if it's a little too late for that. She hopes for the later. Pouring herself a glass of water, she attempts to take her mind off what she just witnessed by going through what they would have for dinner. Maybe Japanese food, of Italian.

It's not working.

The girls come out of the room, Nico cringing every second and Karolina unable to look at Tina in the eye, face flushed crimson.

Tina is so not ready for this. If she thought it was bad when she caught Nico with Alex, this time Tina is so flabbergasted she has no words or punishments to give. She doesn't want to overreact, but every mom instinct within her is telling her to kick Karolina out of her home and pour holy water on every surface to try and restore Nico's virtue. Or some other medieval crap her own mother might have inculcated into her.

She remains calm instead, pins them both with a look.

“Karolina, is your mom aware that you are here?”

“No.”

She sighs. She does not want to ask but know she has to. “Do you need a ride home?”

“No, I can walk.” Thank God.

Tina observes her leaving, then looks at Nico.

“Mom, look, Karolina and I-”

“You are together,” she states.

“Yes.”

“It was about damn time,” Tina tells her, can't help it. It's better than talking about the  _ other thing _ she saw. Nico gapes at her. Tina sighs. “I guess I can't be surprised your relationship has reached the point where you both wish to be intimate.”

“Mom,” Nico stops her, cringing. “Please, don't.”

“How long have you been together, exactly?” She inquires. 

“Not long,” Nico says nonchalantly. Tina narrows her eyes. “A few weeks.”

Tina stares at her alarmed, but Nico turns around and enters in her room. “A few weeks?!” Nico might've as well said ‘a few hours’ and she would've gotten the same reaction. She does not follow her. Maybe she should have given her the talk. 

The mere thought makes her shudder. She might just force Robert to do it himself.

.

.

.

“They are dating?” Leslie smiles. “That's great! How did I not know?”

“I took them by surprise. They had no choice but to tell me,” it isn't a lie, not technically.

“Either way, I'm thrilled. Do you think I should let them know that I know about their relationship or do I give them time?”

She chuckles at the woman's beaming face. “You appear to be about to combust, so just tell them. They won't mind.”

Tina turns off the stove and pours the hot water in the two teacups. Leslie sweetens hers with a teaspoon of sugar, lifting the mug close to her face to smell it.

“It is a Rooibos tea. It's good for you,” Tina puts on a determined, not-up-to-discussion tone. 

Leslie takes a sip. As good as it might be for her, her taste buds do not agree with it. Nonetheless, she makes an act of humming without sounding exaggerated. Tina looks pleased by it, so she keeps drinking it while Tina talks to her about a conflict she is having with her lawyer until her cup is empty. 

Her face falls when Tina gives her a refill, and she hears her laugh. “You could've just asked for a different tea, you know.”

Of course, Tina knew. “It's rude,” it's the answer she settles for.

“You and your manners,” Tina says with a fond smile. “They are gonna get you killed one of these days and you'll be too busy saying thank you to notice.”

Leslie delivers an eye-roll, drinking tea before remembering that it's disgusting.

“At least the morning sickness is giving me a break, thank goodness.”

Tina hums. “You are too pretty to be vomiting.”

“Uh, thank you...?”

“You're welcome.”

Leslie leans in to kiss Tina's cheek, who looks caught off guard by it. “You say the strangest things sometimes,” she mutters and grins.

Tina glances her way and drinks tea. She is still getting used to the gratuitous displays of affection in random moments.

“I don't believe saying you are pretty is strange,” she replies.

“Of course you don't,” Leslie delights her with an amused smile. “I have my first ultrasound in two days,” Leslie informs her.

“Do you?” Tina lifts her mug.

“I was wondering if you'd like to tag along.”

Tina freezes in the middle of a drink. She swallows. “You want me to go with you?”

“That's what I said, yes.”

By the frantic way Leslie had denied wanting her assistance during the pregnancy the day before, Tina had assumed she would not react positively to her involvement in it. Thus, she stayed away.

“Frank will go, too. So I'll understand if you don't feel comfortable with him. With  _ this _ ,” she emphasizes, pointing at her stomach.

“I'll go,” she asserts. “Needless to say, I'm not letting you alone with Frank. Enough that you exposed yourself through that kind of torture for twenty years.”

Leslie rolls her eyes. 

Soon enough she finds herself in front of Leslie's doctor, feeling more uncomfortable than she had been in all of her teen years. Leslie lays down as the obstetrician pushes her shirt up and exposes her abdomen. Tina stands quietly behind her and next to Frank, who keeps giving her the side-eye, scowling at her. It's the first ultrasound of his child and he still can't get over her sleeping with his wife. Tina sighs. She has the feeling that this day is going to end in a disaster.

“And who are these people coming with you?”

“Them.”

The obstetrician looks at them in askance.

“I'm Frank Dean, her husband.”

“Ex-husband,” Tina corrects him immediately. “Tina.”

“Uh,” Leslie twists her neck to glance at Frank and Leslie before pointing at them. “Baby daddy, lesbian lover,” she explains the woman.

She nods, the all-business expression never slipping, and pours the ultrasound gel on her.

“Is this your first, Mrs. Dean?”

“Second,” Leslie replies.

“Ah. Everything seems to be doing alright. It's too early to tell the sex, but do you wanna hear the heartbeat?”

Leslie is going to say that it isn't necessary when Frank speaks up.

“Yes, please.”

He holds her hand, and she stares at it in bewilderment. They hear the heartbeat, strong yet from such a small muscle. Leslie can't help the little smile that curves her lips. It doesn't get old, she thinks, to listen to the proof that your baby is alive and real.

She still cringes when Frank begins to sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late.
> 
> In case you couldn't tell, I've never had an ultrasound (is that how it's said? sorry my spanish slips through my english) and my research is based on the little I recall from movies and series.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm so late, you guys! I would call it writer's block if I didn't only have it when trying to work on this fic.
> 
> I hope you like how this is going. It went from a secret relationship, friends with benefits fic, to, I guess a pregnancy fic? wow can't say I'm sorry for it.

Tina tosses the magazine to the counter, crossing arms as Leslie frowns down to the object.

  


“This is outrageous,” she states.

  


Meanwhile, Leslie takes the magazine in her hands and begins to read the cover. Tina saw it on one of her employees' desk and as soon as she spotted it she had wanted to destroy somebody. She is on a gossip column. Her name! On a gossip column! She has to find whoever is responsible for this and make them pay.

  


“‘Charity organization members secretly gay’,” Leslie reads aloud. “‘ _ Wizard _ CEO and cult leader come out?’”

  


Tina makes an indigenous expression that only grows when Leslie cackles.

  


“It's not funny!”

  


“It kinda is,” Leslie tells her and looks down to the cover. “Well, they call us  _ the hottest _ , at least.”

  


“God, this is embarrassing. And  _ that _ is not flattering, as true as it is.”

  


Leslie shoots her a look. “Don't you think you are being a little overdramatic?”

  


“Dramatic? I can't be in gossip magazines, I'm not Victor. And it's not even a good gossip magazine, it's trash.”

  


“Is any gossip magazine truly good?” Leslie replies. “Look, you are a public figure that recently began dating another woman. Who is pregnant. I'd be surprised if nobody said anything about it,” she says. She stands up and walks to her. She pushes Tina's hair back softly. “We haven't been particularly subtle, either.”

  


Tina pins her with a look.

  


“What if Robert sees it?”

  


“Does Robert get to give a shit about us?” Leslie retorts. “Relax, it's not a big deal.”

  


Her only response is to purse her lips, to which she sighs, rolling her eyes. Leslie looks down to the photo of them that shows Tina kissing Leslie's cheek goodbye outside of a restaurant. If she squints her eyes enough she can make out the name of the place in the background. She remembers it. She thinks they had a date there two weeks ago as she hears a knock on the front door. 

  


Tina represses a groan. Frank is here. On a Sunday afternoon. Again. Floating around them like he belongs in their space and their relationship. Tina craves to slap him away.

  


But Leslie smiles when she sees Frank has arrived, and Tina keeps her annoyance in check. He makes Leslie happy, for some reason. He comes into Leslie's home every Sunday, drinks her tea, wastes her time, talks about things nobody cares about when there isn't anything new about their baby. Tina doesn't understand how Leslie hasn't lost her patience yet. Lord knows Tina would have.

  


They bond, Tina realizes later as a slight bitterness rises in the back of her throat. They are divorced, for Christ's sake, why would they try and bond? Nevertheless, Tina keeps her thoughts to herself. She doesn't want to cause any unnecessary drama in their recent relationship and stress in the newly pregnant woman.

  


It's not her place to have an opinion on this particular matter. At least, it doesn't feel like it is.

  


Just as Frank is about to leave, Karolina arrives, so he stays a little more. Tina grits her teeth tighter and tighter with every passing minute, but she resists until the man is gone and they are finally alone in the room again. The air is lighter and Leslie's eyes seem brighter. Tina doesn't want to stop to think about it because Leslie is  _ glowing _ .

  


“What?” Leslie asks her when she catches her staring.

  


“Nothing. I should be heading back, too,” she adds. She stands up, grabbing her purse.

  


Leslie's smile falters. “Oh, I thought you'd stay the night.”

  


“I can't tonight,” she offers her an apologetic look, and Leslie nods understandingly. “How about dinner tomorrow at my house?”

  


“Sure,” she answers. Tina leans over to kiss her cheek casually, and she stays still as she does, watching her walk away.

  


.

  


.

  


.

  


Dinner goes as good as you'd expect it.

  


Karolina is still not looking at neither Leslie or Tina's way. The only time Leslie got her to at least smile at her since she found out about her secrets was when she told her about the pregnancy. Sure, the timing was unfortunate, but Karolina is excited about her new brother or sister nevertheless.

  


So, during dinner, Leslie and Tina are talking mostly with each other, and Nico, who took the news about their relationship well and has no reason to hold a grudge. Nico is also not the chattiest person.

  


Nonetheless, she has a good time. At this point, Leslie is used to her daughter not speaking to her. It'll pass, she knows. It has to.

  


“Stop it,” Tina tells her.

  


“What?”

  


“Thinking. I could hear you thinking from a mile away. You are making a face.”

  


Leslie quickly notices she's frowning, and forces her expression lines to relax.

  


“You're sleeping here?” Tina asks her, though it sounds more like a command.

  


She nods. Tina's face visibly softens. Leslie assumes that she feels safer if she's close so Tina can keep watch of her. She doesn't fully understand why, but she lets her be. Just like she lets her hold her in bed that night. Tina is not one for cuddling, not usually. Either way, Leslie says nothing and prefers to enjoy the protective side of Tina.

  


“My God, you won't believe who I saw today,” Leslie says suddenly.

  


Tina releases a long-suffering sigh. She was probably hoping to get some sleep. Still, all she says is: “Who?”

  


“Do you remember that man we put in charge of Pride's Clean Water project, back in the day? Claudio Barroso?” Leslie says. Tina looks at her, puzzled. “The bald one with the three adorable daughters and a red beard? Beautiful eyes?”

  


“Ah, yes,” Tina nods. “Barroso.”

  


Leslie tells her everything as Tina bites back a yawn. Leslie has a tendency of thinking too much during evenings and, as a consequence, talking way more than it's good for Tina's sanity. Last week she had spent a full hour arguing that _that blue_ _is not just blue, it's lapis_ and why that shade in particular was needed because it complemented perfectly with the other colors in the piece.

  


Then, she proceeded to explain the importance of symmetry and combination of color palettes until Tina finally lost her mind and told her to sleep.

  


She's at that point again. She's tired, and she has an early morning tomorrow at the office. The citrus scent of Leslie's shampoo is always relaxing, and Tina buries her nose on the blonde hair, inhaling deeply, before she speaks out in a calm yet firm tone.

  


“Les, go to sleep.”

  


“I'm doing it again, aren't I?”

  


“Yes, you are.”

  


“Sorry.”

  


They fall into silence. Leslie can hear Tina's breathing slowing down. She tries to fall asleep, she really does, but as hard as she attempts to quiet her breath, it only results in inhaling deeper than before when she begins feeling the lack of air.

  


Tina's chest is pressed tightly against her back, one arm hanging loosely over her waist. It's nice and she's not used to it at all. Up until recently, Leslie scooped as further away from the sleeping husband she was sharing her bed with, and even when her and Tina do cuddle, which they don't in a usual capacity, Leslie is the one doing the hugging.

  


Tina is pretty small and fits right in her arms, and Leslie can't help but wonder if Tina thinks the same about her. 

  


No thinking, she reminds herself. Tina has a sixth sense that helps her know when Leslie is overthinking herself into staying up till late. No thinking, and she presses her back even closer to Tina, who tightens the arm around her in her half asleep state.

  


She could get used to it. She just needs to give it time.

  


.

  


.

  


.

  


Leslie is happy for Frank. He seems to be getting his life back together after Leslie had basically destroyed him. He doesn't even look at her like he's holding up angry tension anymore, though he's still saving that for Tina. Not that she cares. She likes that they can be civil, at least for their children's sake. Lord knows she already feels like a terrible person, she doesn't need to be a terrible parent, too.

  


Frank is going to pass by her house during the afternoon to spend some time with Karolina. Which is good. Great, even. One of them has to be on speaking terms with Karolina, even if it's not her. Anyway, Leslie wishes she could just walk into her daughter's room, sit down in the bed and ask her about her day without being kicked out immediately or responded with a curt ‘fine.’

  


She stands up from her kneeling position in the grass and wipes off the dirt in her pants with her hands. The sun shines in the sky, something that always brightens her day. She looks back to the bushes of peonies, then at the pool and considers changing to a bathing suit.

  


It's the perfect day for a swim, so she goes inside and comes back with a white one piece swimsuit.

  


She is still in the water when Frank arrives. Leslie thought that he would just find Karolina and leave, but she is proven mistaken when he goes out to the backyard. She doesn't even notice his presence until he is standing in the edge of the pool and staring at her.

  


“Oh, hello!” Leslie lifts her eyebrows in surprise as she spots him. “You and Karolina are leaving?”

  


“Yeah,” he keeps looking at her with that odd expression. 

  


“I hope you have more luck talking to her than me. She's been… difficult.”

  


He gives her an ironic look that says  _ I wonder why _ , though she sees no bad feelings behind it. Frank walks around for a moment. She swims to the edge and observes him just as he spots the bushes she was working on earlier.

  


“Since when do you garden?”

  


“I just picked up the hobby, as a matter of fact.”

  


“They're pretty.”

  


“I know,” she grins. “Have fun with Karolina.”

  


He looks at her again. “Listen,” he says. Leslie immediately knows not to expect anything good coming from that tone. “There's something you should know.”

  


“Go on…” she says warily.

  


“I'm not acting,” he blurts bluntly.

  


Leslie stares at him in puzzlement. “What do you mean?”

  


“That new job I have, it's not acting,” he confesses, looking like he's half-expecting to be punched. Leslie can't tell why. So, he lied. She can't really hold it against him, given the circumstances, but she doesn't understand the logic behind the lie.

  


“Okay,” she says slowly. “Look, Frank, I can't say I have any idea of what is this conversation heading to, but I also don't have a say in your life anymore, so…” she pins him with a look, “what're you doing?”

  


“The thing is, this kinda has to do with you,” he scratches the back of his neck. He's fidgeting under her scrutiny even more than before. “I'm the new leader of the Church of Gibborim.”

  


Leslie blinks at him. She thinks she has to check out her hearing because he couldn't have said what she thinks he just said.

  


“Excuse me?”

  


“When you shut down the church, there were a lot of followers that we're still believers and had nowhere to go to express their faith and commitment to  _ the light _ ,” he explains, talking so vehemently that Leslie is disgusted by it. “I couldn't just abandon them, not after you did.”

  


“So you went behind my back in order keep indoctrinating young minds with bullshit, even after my explicit wishes to leave all behind.”

  


“Exactly! You can move on with your life, and I can take charge of the church.”

  


Leslie is sure her face can't get redder. She pulls herself out of the pool and stomps on her way to Frank. Water is dripping for her hair and body, and the wind blowing is giving her chills but she couldn't care less.

  


“That is  _ my father's _ work you are talking about! You don't even know what that church is involved in!” She snaps, not caring about the secrets she could be exposing with that statement. “And when you realize what you have done and the consequences the lies you keep spreading have, don't come crying for my help.”

  


“Leslie,” he frowns at her like she doesn't understand anything. “Don't you see?” He puts his hands in her shoulders. She doesn't push him away but doesn't stop glaring either. “Don't you see the good I'm accomplishing? The people I'm helping?”

  


She cocks her head. She knows she's giving him the most pitying look. “That's bullshit,” she tells him softly, and steps away from his hold on her. “Why are you even telling me this now?”

  


“Because I have faith in you,” he says. She rolls her eyes mildly. “I have faith that you can find your way back to the light.”

  


“Let me guess. You are having problems gaining the trust of the church followers and need my help.”

  


He shakes his head. “You aren't seeing the bigger picture, Leslie. Imagine, leading the church together as a strong front,” he speaks dreamily, yet she's just horrified by his words. Then he points at her baby bump. “This, is a fresh start. Not just for us, but for the church.”

  


“Alright, now you are speaking nonsense, Frank.”

  


“No, listen to me! I read on one of your father's journals that this child, our child, is something much bigger than we could have ever imagine. He's the Messiah.”

  


She looks at him unimpressed. “He's no Messiah, he's a baby, and I thought I'd thrown away those journals,” she turns around and searched for her towel. “Is that why you are being so friendly lately? You were trying to...soften the blow?” It sounds more like an statement than a question. His silence says everything. “You know, I believed we really started to get along, for once.”

  


“Leslie, come on. You know it's not just that.”

  


“You should leave, Karolina must be waiting for you.”

  


“Just think about it,” he tells her before he leaves.

  


Leslie is not going to think about. She's never getting involved with that church again.

  


.

  


.

  


.

  


Leslie kicks off her heels and stretches her toes while Tina pours the tea in two mugs and passes one to her. Tina has let down her hair and taken off her jewelry, and she can't stop thinking how beautiful she looks like when she keeps it simple.

  


“Robert called,” Tina says casually. “He saw the magazine.”

  


Leslie furrows her brows. “What magazine?”

  


“The one with a…  _ hot take _ on our relationship.”

  


“Oh. I take it he had an interesting opinion about it,” she smirks against her mug as she takes a sip.

  


“Don't get me started,” Tina rolls her eyes. “But overall, it's not that bad. Victor thinks it's bad press for Pride.”

  


“What is bad press? Our private lesbian relationship?” Leslie retorts with amusement.

  


Tina's eyes find Leslie's, and they let out a snicker. They are in a gossip magazine. The whole situation is just ridiculous.

  


“It's not funny,” Tina says, and yet, she is still laughing.

  


“It is! This actually got to Pride, can you believe it?” She replies and laughs harder, though she has no idea why. Eventually, they calm down. Leslie runs a hand through her hair and sighs. “God, what a day.”

  


“Has something else happened?” Tina asks her when she says that.

  


“Nothing important, I'll tell you later,” Leslie waves it off with a flick of her hand and smiles at Tina. “I'm just happy to be here with you.”

  


Tina, although confused by the change of tone, smiles back, happy to hear those words coming from Leslie. “Me, too.”

  


Leslie keeps beaming at her. Tina is struck by what she sees in that look. She never noticed before how Leslie looks at her. Like she holds the moon and the stars. Then she feels a bit ridiculous for thinking that.

  


Leslie doesn't seem to mind her momentary distraction, and has moved on to check her phone. The happiness disappears from her face and she bites her cheeks. Leslie types angrily something in her phone and practically slams it in the table.

  


“What has that phone ever do to you?” Tina raises a brow at her.

  


Leslie puts on a smile and shakes her head. “Oh, it's nothing. Not a big deal.”

  


She wonders if she should ask what is up with her but decides against it. If Leslie is not already telling her all by herself, then she must not want to talk about it. Tina is not interested in crossing any lines so early on.

  


“More tea?”

  


“Please.”

  


She squeezes Leslie's shoulder and pours more tea in the mugs.


	14. Chapter 14

Around 16 weeks into her pregnancy, Leslie gets really… intense. She comes to Tina's mansion at questionable hours, eats her dinner leftovers, pins Tina down on the couch when she finds her and practically ravishes her, almost gets them caught by Nico — multiple times. Tina is not complaining, she's just too old and tired to stand it. It's uncharacteristic of Leslie to act in any way that could be considered rude, and  _ this  _ is rudeness 101 in Tina's book.

What is Leslie's excuse for it?

“I thought I could pass by and see you.”

“At 2am in the morning,” she says flatly.

“What can I say? I missed you,” Leslie shrugs.

Tina lifts an unimpressed eyebrow.

“You have issues.”

Leslie keeps searching through the shelves, paying no mind to what she said. “Where do you keep your pans?”

“Why would you want a pan?”

“Omelettes!” Leslie bounces, smiling at her in waiting for an answer.

“Leslie, no,” she shoots her the most inflexible look she can muster.

“I have cravings, Tina. My feet are swollen, my kid's hiccups or whatever won't allow me to sleep because he just loves to be awake during the nights. I feel huge, hungry and horny, that's my life right now! So yeah, I will make my fucking omelettes.”

Tina rolls her eyes. “You will not. You need to sleep, Les,” the endearment slips through her tongue easily and she observes her relax. “Come on, let's go to bed.”

Leslie sighs, turning around to open the fridge and take out a bucket of fried chicken Nico had brought and saved for later. Tina's instant reaction is too wrinkle her nose.

“Okay. But I'm eating in the bed.”

She grimaces but does nothing as Leslie walks toward the bedroom. She hesitates before following her and imagines a world where Leslie isn't making a mess on her bed, and not in the good way. Leslie is already under the covers and digging into her bucket when Tina joins her. She lays down and her eyelids fall like they've craved to do since she got home that evening.

“You have an early morning tomorrow, don't you?” Leslie mutters. Tina tries to shut out the noise of scrunching and saliva.

“Yes.”

“Sorry.”

Tina does not accept that insincere apology. “And yet, you keep doing this, breaking into my house in the middle of the night, not letting me sleep. What's gotten into you?”

“It's not breaking in when you have a key.”

And does Tina ever regret giving Leslie one.

“Not the point,” she shakes her head and decides to point out the obvious. “You could just spend the night here. It wouldn't be the first time.”

Leslie just murmurs a ‘okay’ and remains silent for a long time. Tina realizes then that she has fallen asleep with a bucket of chicken over her baby bump. She can't help the long-suffering sigh that escapes her lips as she removes it from Leslie's weakened hands and leaves it on the nightstand.

She hopes Nico and Karolina won't have many questions as to how Leslie is there with them to have breakfast early in the morning. She feels that might be one awkward conversation.

.

.

.

Leslie is awake. That's the last thing she wants to be, so she pretends she is not, like a little kid. She knows that she will have to rise up, get dressed and go home soon, but she doesn't want to leave. She wants to stay in bed with Tina forever. The woman has one arm hanging loosely around Leslie's waist and she loves it. It's not too close that it becomes overbearing, and it's not too far away either that gets her cold.

She is comfortable sleeping in Tina's silk pajamas. The woman does not own cotton sets, not even oversized t-shirts — Leslie was tempted to wear one of Tina's shirts just to bother her, aware that it would drive Tina crazy if she saw it wrinkled. Alas, she had already gotten into Tina's nerves that night. She didn't want to push. Luckily, Tina never cares about her wearing her clothes as much about her using her kitchen.

Leslie has to put a stop to this new horrid habit she has developed. She doesn't understand it, and it makes her uncomfortable to even think about it. She lays awake in her bed every night feeling so incredibly sad. Her bed is cold and she needs somebody to be next to her. Somebody in particular.

So she breaks into Tina's house at 2am.

She needs to stop doing that.

It felt fun and exciting the first time and nothing at all like a midlife crisis. Now it's just sad. She should get a dog, or a cat, or a Tina. She may as well just move in with her, problem solved. (Just kidding, it's too soon for that, it might be just the hormones thinking).

Anything but breaking and entering.

The alarm makes its appearance, and she feels Tina stretching away from her, yet Leslie makes no movement, preferring to be exactly where she is. She almost whins when her inexhaustible source of heat disappears from her side and tiptoes toward the bathroom.

She flips to her back and blinks at the ceiling for a few minutes before she decides to sit up and stretches her back. The sheets fall off her chest, exposing the pajama top. She stays like that for awhile, her head not conscious enough to notice the time passing.

“Shouldn't you get dressed?” A deep voice snaps her out of her thoughts.

She looks up at Tina, who is wearing a black dress and her hair is perfect as well as her makeup, and she finds her smirking.

“I should, shouldn't I?” She drawls, supporting herself on the palms of her hands.

She takes the sheets off her and rolls off the bed. Advancing slowly and with a safe shake of her hips toward Tina, Leslie smiles at her, arms surrounding the other woman's neck as she leaves a deep, closed-mouth kiss on her rosewood-painted lips. When she feels Tina grabbing the back of her neck and holding her closer, Leslie can't help but smile onto the kiss as she drifts away. Tina's hands make their way to Leslie's waist. The blonde, however, steps out of her embrace.

“I should leave,” she mutters apologetically.

“Aren't you staying for breakfast?” Tina cocks her head in confusion.

Leslie's eyes widen. “Of course, I'm staying,” she says, though mostly to herself. “I can cook, too.”

“Even better.”

The swell of Leslie's breasts is evident on Tina's sleeveless silky pajama top, and Tina is enjoying the view too much. Leslie stops making breakfast and slaps the brunette's hip with the spatula. She yelps.

“What was that for?”

Leslie's glare intensifies. “Stop staring.”

“You are gorgeous. There's no need to be self-conscious.”

“I'm huge,” she says matter-of-factly.

“You are pregnant and barely showing. And you're fine. Better than fine.”

Leslie just raises an eyebrow and goes back to cooking. 

Tina puts a hand on Leslie's side and kisses her cheek. She leans into it, but her focus remains on the task at hand. “The girls are gonna be up soon. I can take over if you want to go and get dressed.

Leslie sighs, but steps back and hands Tina the spatula. She gives one look at the booth and forgets all about getting dressed. She sits down. Tina looks over her shoulder for a second and finds her looking with a smile on her face, now winking at her. 

“You are cooking.”

She turns her head and finds Nico staring at her disbelieving. It may have something to do that she hasn't made breakfast once in three years or so, but Tina prefers to play innocent and shrug.

“You want eggs?”

“Mm, something smells nice,” Karolina enters with an appreciative hum. “We're having breakfast here today?”

“Your mother has cravings,” she leaves it at that.

“True,” Leslie adds, standing up.

Karolina raises her brows and lets out a tired groan. “Really, Mom?”

Tina looks up at Leslie. She's still wearing her silk pajamas. Now that Tina looks at it more closely, the shorts don't reach her mid-thigh and have risen up till the edge of her ass, and Leslie is not wearing a bra. Beautiful sight for Tina, unpleasant for the woman's daughter.

“That's my mom's,” Nico notices, frowning.

And unpleasant for Tina's daughter too, it seems.

Leslie gives her a glance, wincing. “I better go change.” And she leaves.

“She said it's comfortable,” Tina says as if it explains it all.

“Right.” Nico and Karolina exchange a look and choose not to talk about it anymore.

Tina focuses on the task at hand.

.

.

.

Her mom randomly appeared in Tina's house. When? Karolina has no idea and she prefers not to ask many questions because she is not interested in being scarred for life so early on in her life. She's had enough with Nico's mom catching them sleeping together. She blushes crimson just by thinking about it.

Leslie comes back, completely dressed. She's looking to her buzzing phone and chooses to ignore the call. Karolina immediately knows it was her dad. She's not sure exactly what happened between them, but they went from standing each other and having civil conversations a month ago to her mom avoiding her dad unless it was strictly necessary to speak to him.

She sees him dropping by their house every Sunday. Leslie hides in her room or leaves the mansion altogether when he does. He calls her every now and then. Leslie never calls back unless they have an ultrasound coming up.

Karolina's response to that is to stay out of their way. Normally, she'll try to find out what's the problem, so she can help them, but Karolina is done with her parents' drama. Not even a divorce calms them down.

“I gotta go,” her mom mumbles to Tina apologetically, and leans to kiss her lips.

Tina makes Leslie happy. It took Karolina awhile to realize it, but when she did, she noticed that her mom has never been too much of that. Happy. She always seems to be, has mastered how to smile so brightly it's contagious, and yet Karolina can now tell that it wasn't real happiness. There is a slow ache in her chest at that thought that she decides to ignore.

Now, her mom might be leaving, but the fact that it seems like that's the last thing she wants to do says a lot. She looks like, if she could, she would stay there with Tina forever. That, Karolina can understand, she thinks, looking over to Nico.

It made forgiving her mom so much easier. Karolina doesn't think she can really trust her just yet, though. Her mom lies, a lot, to  _ everyone _ , like she has been doing it her entire life. Karolina almost believes that she has. 

“Sorry,” Leslie adds then. “About last night. I don't know what came over me.”

Karolina frowns at that and wonders about what happened. She observes as Tina's lips quirk upwards, the movement so small it's barely noticeable. But she notices, and so does Leslie. She's smiling.

“It's fine,” Tina brushes off whatever concern Leslie has with a wave of the hand. “Just come to dinner next time, yes?”

“Take it for granted, babe” her mom leans forward to place another kiss in Tina's lips, smile still in place as she does.

It's so sweet, and Karolina doesn't believe she's ever seen Tina showing any sign of affection towards anybody while she was present before. Maybe towards Nico, some years ago. Possibly. It might have just been a fever dream. Then again, Karolina hasn't spent as much time in the Minoru's as she is nowadays.

Leslie leans back, and Tina slowly opens her eyes. She looks at Leslie in the eyes, smiles sweetly and says, “Don't call me babe.”

Karolina snorts. Leslie only looks amused as she promises not to. When she approaches Karolina to kiss her cheek goodbye, she lets her. Might as well show her she is not  _ that _ mad at her. Baby steps.

She notices Leslie beaming all the way to outside. She does not see Tina frowning at Leslie's back as she goes.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Thank you for all of you that stuck with me until the end and hope you enjoyed reading this fic as much as I enjoyed (and stressed over) writing it.
> 
> Yes, this is The End™. Tbh I was never good at endings, so I'm not sure how this turned out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and all feedback makes me giddy.

Tina is pulling at her hair. She hires people so she doesn't have to do all the work herself, yet it seems everyone has decided to make themselves useless today. Security had let someone steal her car, under the excuse of the person  _ looking like her _ , one of her engineers made a fuss about the working load of the last weeks (as if Tina hasn't been working twice a hard) and two others have quit right in the middle of the project.

She wants to stay in the office to try and fix it all as much as she wants to go home, take a bath and get into bed — with Leslie, preferably. Yet, the chance of Leslie going to her mansion that day is little. Firstly, they haven't planned anything for the day. And secondly, Leslie is meeting up with Frank to discuss the custody arrangements of their unborn child.

Tina bites the inside of her cheeks. She hates that man. She hates how much time Leslie spends with him. It triggers all the nasty feelings and betrayals that she keeps locked in the back of her heart. Every mention of him makes it harder and harder to pretend she's barely annoyed. 

(If Leslie enjoys being around Frank immensely, why did she leave him in the first place? They have a new child in the way, after all, and Tina is aware that Leslie has loved Frank oh so much.)

She shakes all those toxic thoughts away. She decides to go home.

She does not expect to find Leslie laying down on her couch when she enters the house. She closes the door slowly, taking in the sight of the woman. As the door clicks shut, the sound alarms Leslie of a new presence in her surroundings. Blue eyes spot Tina in the hallway, kicking off her heels. Leslie smiles absently at her.

“I was waiting for you,” she says, not moving from her resting position.

“I wasn't aware you were coming.”

She walks toward Leslie and leans down to press a kiss to her lips, and she's surprised when Leslie places a hand to the back of her neck, pushing her closer. She doesn't mind, though, and slips her tongue into Leslie's mouth. Tina drifts away, giving her quizzical look.

“Something's up with you today.”

“Am I really that transparent?” Leslie gives her a half-smile.

“No, you've got an exasperatingly good poker face,” she says, dead serious, and lifts Leslie's legs to sit on the couch. She lets out a sigh as she drops them in her lap. “But I'm not stupid. What is it?”

“It's about Frank.” Hearing that name makes Tina want to roll her eyes so hard they'd fall out. She suppresses the urge. Still, she remains tense, the possibilities behind that sentence haunting her. “I've been wanting to tell you this for awhile. I don't know why I haven't,” Leslie rubs her temples. “I just needed some time to-”

Tina can't hear the rest of this. She cuts her off. “Are you leaving me?” She says bluntly.

Leslie stares at her, wide-eyed. “Wha-?”

“You are going back to Frank, aren't you?”

“God, no!” She shakes her head fervently. “I would never! Why would you think that?”

“Well, it makes sense, doesn't it?” She says defensively. Tina has been through this before. She knows all the signs. She has seen them in Robert over and over, and Leslie is doing the same. It would be a relief, she thinks, to have the confirmation of her suspicions instead of lies. “You love him.”

“I-” Leslie just gapes at her until only a scoff can come out of her mouth. She sits up. “That is ridiculous. I  _ left _ him. Tina, how long have you been thinking this?”

“Can you blame me?” She retorts. “You come here, you eat my food, you sleep on my bed, with me, and then you leave. You go back to your baby daddy.”

“What?” Leslie's voice is a whisper. Like she is wounded. Her brows are screwed into a frown as she stands up from the couch. “Is that what you think of me?”

Tina rolls her shoulders. “It's what you do, Leslie.”

She clenches her fists. “If that's it, maybe I should be with Frank. At least he has more respect for me than you do, apparently.”

“Then why don't you?!” Tina confronts her.

Leslie rolls her eyes up to the ceiling in exasperation. “Haven't you thought that it might have something to do with the fact that I'm gay and in love with you?”

All the air abandons Tina's lungs as she stares at Leslie with wide eyes. “You're what?”

“I was gonna tell you that my divorce is finally official,” Leslie tells her, voice void of emotion. “Frank reopened the church behind my back. I just thought that didn't have to keep everything to myself, for once.”

Tina just blinks at her.

“I'm gonna go now. I need to be alone,” Leslie sighs before turning around and leaving the house. Tina doesn't try to stop her.

She thinks her brain might have stopped functioning.

.

.

.

Leslie blows her nose. She sits on her long unused meditation room as she wonders guiltily if she did good on leaving Tina's home. It has been months since she last stepped into that room, her skepticism towards her old religion keeping her from even considering praying to some false God. But she found herself needing it. Her soul begs her to meditate, to find a connection with the light that was long lost. 

She is troubled. She used to believe she had it all figured out, because she knew what was right and what was wrong, and which one of those descriptions she was supposed to fit in. Without that strong sense of morality her father had passed on to her, Leslie finds herself lost. Who is she really without the light? Who is she without the people that tell her everything is fine?

Maybe it is her fault, maybe she should have been more straightforward with Tina. Her mind has been so busy with the divorce and the church and the unexpected pregnancy that she had the illusion Tina was a rock in her world. She would stay with her because she cared about her, like her father and Jonah did when she needed them the most.

(Leslie shakes her head at that horrifying thought. Tina is nothing like Jonah.)

And perhaps Tina cares, but that doesn't mean she won't have her own issues meanwhile. She has been selfish, she thinks. She needs to let the light embrace her and guide her once again toward what's right. She needs to be good again and stop feeling so lost. She needs…

Leslie groans to herself for letting herself get to this point and stands up from her kneeling position, brushing of non-existent wrinkles from her pants. She has to stop falling to old habits.

She needs Tina. But Tina thinks she loves Frank — for some nonsensical reason. Tina believes that Leslie doesn't care about her, that she's been using her. Leslie cares so much it hurts. It hurts that Tina could ever think that about her.

She hears a knock on the front door, but ignores it. She knows it's Frank, and she is not in the mood to listen to his idiocy. She listened to it the whole afternoon trying to settle an agreement that didn't include Gibborim indoctrination. She's had enough of it for one day. She'll let Karolina get it. 

“She doesn't want to see you,” she hears Karolina saying. “I don't know what you did but you really screwed up.”

She breathes out in relief.

“Karolina, with all due respect, this is between your mother and I,” the second voice makes her stiffen. That's not Frank. It's Tina.

“Then just call her, 'cause you're not getting in.”

“She's not picking up her phone.”

“More reason for you to  _ leave _ .”

Leslie takes a deep breath before raising her voice and speaking out, “Karolina, let her in.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it's fine.”

She can't hide and expect for all of her problems to solve magically. 

She hears Tina's footsteps approaching the meditation for and, when she sees her opening the door, Leslie lets out air she didn't know she was holding. For all of Tina's natural confidence, when it comes to talking things out she can be really awkward. The woman stands there, facing her, staring at her like she's not sure what to say.

“I didn't know you still meditated,” it's what comes out first.

It makes Leslie frown. “I don't.”

Tina nods, and they stand still in complete silence. That's when Tina decides speak out. “I'm sorry,” she says, and of all things Leslie could expect, that hadn't even crossed her mind. 

“No,  _ I'm _ sorry,” she says. “What are you sorry for?”

“For accusing you of cheating on me,” she grimaces. “That wasn't my finest moment.”

“I can't say it didn't hurt.”

“I  _ do  _ respect you, you know that,” Tina insists.

“Do you trust me?” Leslie replies, wanting the answer sincerely.

“You are the only one I trust,” she says, catching Leslie off guard once again. “I just have seen this before?”

“Seen what?”

“In Robert. I've seen him going out with ridiculous excuses, being around only when it suited him. And he was out with Janet Stein all that time.”

“I'm not Robert.”

“But you have cheated before, haven't you?”

“So have you.”

“It's not the same.”

“Isn't it?” Leslie retorts. She steps forward, closer to Tina. “You are forgetting one tiny detail.”

“What?”

“I never loved Frank,” she admits. “I don't know what made you believe otherwise, but I never loved him.”

“You didn't?” Tina frowns.

She shakes her head no. “I do love you,” Leslie smiles hopefully and puts her hands on the woman's shoulders. Tina looks down. “I love you so much, and I'm afraid I haven't been the best at showing you that.”

Tina shakes her head fervently. “If this is about what I said earlier, forget about that.”

“No, no, you were right,” Leslie insists. “I'm sorry. I'll be better. Can you just...talk to me next time something's wrong?”

Tina looks at her with a wince. She can't make any promises, that's for sure. “I was being dramatic, ok? So stop acting like you did something bad because you didn't,” Tina says firmly, almost like a warning.

Leslie swallows. “I think that, with all that's been happening lately, plus the hormones, I've been feeling a bit...lost. I'm still trying to figure some things out. I didn't mean to drag you into it.”

“You didn't say.”

Leslie waves it off. “It's not that big of a deal. I didn't want to bother you with it.”

“That's bullshit,” Tina states. “Haven't you thought that, maybe, I want you to bother me with it?”

“Why would you?” She frowns.

Tina groans. “Because that's what people who care about each other do! They listen to each other's problem and try to be there for them. For all my faults, I know that.”

“Oh.”

“Leslie, this is me communicating, don't waste it. We are in a committed relationship, right?” She asks, and Leslie nods. “Then I'd like you to be able to talk to me.”

“Right…” Leslie clears her throat. “Again, it's not a big deal. I might be missing the church.”

“Really?” She lifts her brows.

“Oh, don't believe I'd ever go back to  _ that _ ,” she shudders at the mere thought. “I used to know exactly what I wanted and who I was back then. I miss that, that's all.” 

Tina thinks about what Leslie just told her and realizes: she's terrible at listening and giving advice, why did she ever want Leslie to confide in her? Such a stupid idea.

“Tina?”

“Yes, sorry, I just remembered I suck at this,” she says casually, pulling a laugh out of Leslie.

“That's okay.”

“That doesn't mean I don't want you to talk to me,” she assures her.

“I know, don't worry.”

“Besides, I know who you are,” she says, and Leslie lifts a skeptical eyebrow. “You're Leslie, you're you. That's the woman I love.”

A beaming smile grows in Leslie's lips until it feels so tight on her cheeks. “That's the corniest shit you've ever said.”

“Shut up, I'm being tender.”

Leslie looks at her fondly as she leans forward. “I'm just glad everything is okay.” 

“Yes. I've been wanting to do this since I got here,” Tina grabs her by the collar and pulls her down to a kiss. She feels Leslie chuckling against her lips, and she deepens the kiss, stroking her tongue with her own. Leslie places her hands in her waist. Tina's abdomen brushes with Leslie's baby bump with the movement. 

Leslie pulls away, licking her lips one last time. “Wanna go to my bedroom?” She asks with the most mischievous grin in her lips. 

“Lead the way.”

.

.

.

Tina lays on her back, completely naked, as she checks out her phone. Leslie lets her eyes roam up and down her body, and places a hand smoothly over the woman's stomach. She is so beautiful, she thinks looking up to her face. Tina's eyes are focused on the screen, and a small wrinkle is forming between her brows. She peeks at her phone, and finds Tina is playing Candy Crush. Leslie chuckles and supports herself with an elbow as she turns to her side.

“Do you think I'd be a good artist?” She asks.

She watches Tina's fingers pause over the screen for half a second. “Do you  _ like _ painting?”

Leslie ponders about that for a moment. “No,” she drawls.

“Then, no,” Tina says easily. Her lips quirk, and Leslie squints at the screen and rolls her eyes. Tina won that game, or however it is that it works.

“Why not?”

“If you don't like it,” Tina says, almost sounding bored, “how could it interest you enough to cultivate the talent?”

Leslie digs her fingers into her own skull — her arm is becoming numb. “Huh. Never thought about that. You went to college, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“How was it?”

“What do you mean? Don't you know?”

“I never got the chance,” Leslie admits, dragging a finger lazily across the length of Tina's arm. “I had to take over the church.”

Tina eyes her hand, but otherwise shows no signs of sensing her. “Right. Jonah helped you with that, I heard.”

“Yes,” Leslie cocks her head. “My father had died, I was lonely, and he was the only one there for me.”

She watches Tina's face darken. 

“He was also an asshole,” Tina replies, eyes still on the phone.

Leslie frowns. “Can't say you're wrong.”

“I never liked him. You were too good for him.”

“Aw, thanks, you flatterer,” Leslie smiles wildly, and even though Tina responded with an eyeroll, she can see the tiniest quirk of her lips. She leans forward and sees Tina's cheek turn pink as she kisses it softly. “Good night.”

She settles down under the sheets with her back turned to Tina when she hears, “Karolina is going to murder me.”

Leslie laughs at the ridiculousness of that sentence. “What?”

“I'm serious. Your daughter is terrifying when she looks like she wants to have your head on a platter for corrupting her mother's virtue.”

Leslie laughs louder.

“And, let me remind you, you aren't particularly quiet.”

“She's being protective, and don't pretend you are so calm, either. I still get flashbacks from that one time in Pride's office.”

“Oh, shush,” Tina doesn't actually deny her words and settles her phone in the nightstand as she turns off the lamp. “Good night.”

“What do you think of Elle?”

Tina sighs. She should know better than to try and sleep so quickly by now. That woman's energy is limitless.

“Elle?”

“For the baby's name, if it's a girl,” Leslie says. “Elle. After my father. Maybe David if it's a boy.”

Tina turns on the light and rolls to her side to see Leslie, who looks at her expectantly by the corner of her eye. “I like it,” she says. “But not David, that's just boring.”

“That was my father's name,” Leslie points out.

“Doesn't make it any less boring,” Tina retorts in the middle of a yawn and rolls over to turn off the light again. She closes her eyes and waits for sleep to come to her.

Thirty seconds of silence and then-

“Do you think I'd be a good politician?”

“Leslie, go to sleep.”

“No, but really.”

“Ask me in the morning.”

“Come on, don't leave me waiting.”

She groans. “Would you like to be a politician?”

“No.”

“Then go to sleep.”


End file.
